The subject in my dream several nights ago I am very close to in real life. I recall replying something to effect that "I can understand why you think this, but world was not that great a place *before* 9/11 and terrorist attacks have only served as catalyst for positive, spiritual changes world needed to make anyway". Something in reality I have said to many people.

However, she rebutted, and this is verbatim: "You had better wake up and smell anthrax!"

I intensely dislike nightmares, and especially those that wake you up with a jolt like this did, but surreal conversation served as my own catalyst to change how I have been "existing" since September 11. I'll explain in a moment.

You may be having trouble sleeping or having dreams, or worse, nightmares related to terrorist attacks and current state of world. We are being told by experts that this is perfectly normal considering scale of senseless slaughter, onslaught of biological attacks and continual talk of more threats, even nuclear, and overall 'crisis coverage' bombardment in our lives day in and day out. I certainly believe them. If you weren't concerned about everything that is going on right now, including your own safety, you'd have to be pretty insensitive!

However, I believe biggest enemy we face right now is our personal preoccupation with these world events, and, level of "shutdown" we've allowed into our lives as a result. Just look around at what's happening, or better yet, not happening. Travellers and vacationers aren't flying and airlines and tourist industries are in deep financial trouble. People are avoiding public places and countless major events have been postponed or cancelled. You could probably hurl a good sized snowball through your local restaurants and not hit a patron. The stock market has plummeted and businesses large and small are beginning to fall by wayside in droves. People just aren't doing what they normally do and that includes spending money enjoying themselves.

Me? I readily admit that too many people have been in my miserable midst to hear me grumble in disgust about how slow my Internet sales have been. Not like me at all.

Internet marketing fascinates me. It fascinates me so much that I am at computer 12 hours a day. However, after a few months I noticed that my posterior was beginning to spread out and fit contours of my desk chair a bit too comfortably. I was getting very pale and for first time became aware that gray was now my natural hair color.

Action was needed and this is what I did:

• Because I was getting up at 4 a.m. to be able to spend 12 hours a day on computer, I found that I was getting hungrier during day. But instead of eating Fritos, I started having boiled eggs and apples as snacks. I quit putting chips on my grocery list. My husband complained about not having munchies in house. I told him if he wanted them that much, he could buy them himself.

• Because I was getting up earlier in morning to spend 12 hours a day at computer, I started eating my dinner earlier in evening. That meant my husband and I no longer had dinner together. He started bellyaching that there wasn't anything prepared for him when he got home from work. I told him it was about time he learned how to cook.