I Can't Weight - One Man's Diet

Written by Gary E. Anderson

I Can't Weight—One Man's Diet (Fromrepparttar book Spider’s Big Catch) Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com

Like many people, I've decided I need to take off a little weight fromrepparttar 118168 holidays—the holidays of six years ago. But I've never dieted before, so being a conscientious kinda guy, I logged into my favorite web browser for some advice.

I found 3,978,158,342 sites offering help with losing a few pounds. (In fact, I was so overwhelmed, I had to grab a sandwich before even tacklingrepparttar 118169 search.) As a public service, I'll try to encapsulate what I learned, although I may have gotten a little confused by some ofrepparttar 118170 terminology.

Most ofrepparttar 118171 sites spent considerable time talking about calories, so maybe we should start there. As far as I could make out, a calorie is defined asrepparttar 118172 amount of heat it takes to raise a gram of water from 58 degrees to 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

Immediately, that fact brought several questions to mind. First, who decided that? Why 58 to 60? That’s not even hot enough to take a bath in! Next, if one calorie raisesrepparttar 118173 temperature of water 2 degrees, andrepparttar 118174 human body is 90% water, why don’t millions of Americans boil over duringrepparttar 118175 holidays, after consuming billions of calories at one sitting? That definition implies that a person should be able to eat a million calories a day, as long as he spaced them out, to avoid boiling over. You could eat, let your body cool back down, then eat a bunch more, and never gain any weight – it made sense to me. That concept must be common knowledge torepparttar 118176 world at large, which would explain why you so rarely see people boil over in public. But since I’m new to this dieting business, it came as exciting news for me.

Spider's Big Catch

Written by Gary E. Anderson

Spider's Big Catch (Fromrepparttar book Spider’s Big Catch) Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com

When I was in college, Spider McGee, Charlie Fox, and I loved to fish offrepparttar 118167 log boom inrepparttar 118168 river near my house on summer afternoons. We'd sit and talk about life, drink hot chocolate, and occasionally catch a fish or two. But one day, Spider yelled, "Hey, I got something, and it feels big!"

Catching any fish—of any size—was always a surprise, but hooking something big was reason for genuine excitement. As Spider began to reel, his pole bent almost in half.

"This thing is a monster," he said,repparttar 118169 drag on his reel screaming.

After twenty minutes or so, he'd gotten it close enough torepparttar 118170 boom to get a glimpse of his catch. It was a snapping turtle.

"Ah, man, that's too bad," said Charlie. "I thought maybe you had Old Granddad there, for a second. Cutrepparttar 118171 line and let him go."

"Are you crazy?" said Spider. "That lure was given to my dad by his grandfather. It was hand-carved in Norway—and he doesn’t even know I borrowed it! I gotta get it back."

"Well, how're you gonna do that?" I asked—and was soon sorry I had.

"I'll just bring him up torepparttar 118172 edge ofrepparttar 118173 boom, and you guys reach out and grab it," Spider said calmly.

Now, I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid.

I said, "No, no, no—you bring him torepparttar 118174 edge ofrepparttar 118175 boom, and then I'll try to pryrepparttar 118176 lure loose with a stick."

"OK, that’ll work," said Spider.

As Spider struggled to bringrepparttar 118177 turtle close torepparttar 118178 edge ofrepparttar 118179 boom, Charlie handed me a long stick. I reached out, andrepparttar 118180 turtle's jaws instantly clamped down onrepparttar 118181 stick. I lifted him out ofrepparttar 118182 water, and we headed towardrepparttar 118183 bank.

Once on shore, we setrepparttar 118184 angry turtle onrepparttar 118185 ground, but he refused to let go ofrepparttar 118186 stick,repparttar 118187 lure still dangling fromrepparttar 118188 corner of his mouth. I reached out with my tennis shoe to nudge him inrepparttar 118189 back, and instantly learned several interesting things about snapping turtles. First, they're not as slow as you might think, second, they're very agile, and third, they're well-named.

In a heartbeat,repparttar 118190 turtle's neck shot out, reached completely behind him, and bit throughrepparttar 118191 end of my sneaker. Then, spitting out rubber and nylon, he turned and looked at us menacingly.

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use