In reality, American family does not need a home. We are born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile and married in a church.

We get our food at delicatessen and restaurant. We spend our mornings at golf, our afternoons at club and our evenings romping through local mall.

When we die, undertakers will bury us. We do not need a home; all we need is a garage.

Comparing today's home with its counterpart of 100 years ago, there is quite a difference. With all of our advanced technology, are we, to quote a famous American president, "any better off now than then?"

The average housewife (to use a term not used since adultery was sin) has more timesaving gadgets than her century-ago counterpart. Still, she does not have enough time for her family.

All this time saved by these timesaving devices has to go somewhere. But, where?

Where does "saved time" go? Is there a time warp somewhere in outer space where time goes, like a retirement center for misspent minutes?

Why is it, more time I save less time I have? If only I could collect time in a bottle and save it for old age when I will really need it.

If anyone knows, please let me know for I do not have time right now to figure it out.

Right now, I would not miss an hour here or an hour there.

Today's mother can cook family meal in a fraction of time her grandmother did, but families no longer have time to eat together. Most families today eat in shifts, thanks to modern technology like microwave oven.

It seems like many of today's women are more interested in bringing home bacon than cooking it. Why didn't dear old dad marry a woman like grandma?

In years gone by family spent quality time together. There was a strong sense of family camaraderie and families actually knew each other, and all things considered, loved each other.

People today seem to be so busy trying to make a living that they never really get around to living. I know there are a few high holy days when they do meet, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes they even recognize each other.

For many people, only picture we have of great American family is television sitcom.

Now let's move away from food, because it is to always important to buy sizzle, not steak. That's first tip. If steak was any good, why would Madison Avenue spend all its efforts selling sizzle?

Let's face it, you don't care which widget fits into combotubulator under hood; you just want a sporty new set of wheels painted in flamethrower red.

Here is how you negotiate down price of a new vehicle. Just say, "No engine, please. No transmission. No coolant. Nothing under hood, please. Nothing that doesn't shine when I polish car in my driveway.

You would be amazed at astounding bargains you can negotiate on a new car with no engine. Plus, car will weigh much less, so you will save on gas.

Next, head over to your favorite furniture superstore to buy a TV. Tip: NEVER buy a TV at an electronics store. They will try to sell you a whole bunch of useless and expensive features. The last thing you need is another 962 satellite channels that never seem to have anything on anyway.

Go straight to wall unit section of furniture store. They always display life-size cardboard TVs in this section. Most people leave their cardboard TVs behind when they pick up their wall units, so you can get yours for a song.

As a bonus, you always know what is showing on your new cardboard TV and you can save even more money by canceling that useless satellite or cable service.

Next, head to office furniture section and check out desks. See those cardboard computers?...

Apply this principal to any electronic equipment - telephones, microwave ovens, blenders. Imagine fortune you can save just by saying "hold steak." If you’re a technophobe, you'll be even happier.