A distorted body image is one of symptoms that define anorexia and related eating disorders. Patients may be painfully thin but still see themselves as fat while they continue to cut calories, over-exercise, purge, or use enemas in an effort to lose more and more weight.

Those of us who enjoy normal weight often also suffer from a warped view of our physical selves. Like old carnival house of mirrors, we fail to see true reflection of our bodies because of an inner eye that focuses on elements we hate: sagging arms, nobby knees, saddlebag thighs, a roll of belly fat. That personal distaste for certain body parts is what drives slender, attractive, healthy individuals, despite adverse reactions of family and friends who see no need for change, into cosmetic surgery.

Those of us who are overweight also display selective vision. We tend to avoid full-length mirrors, preferring to focus on just our upper body and face. When we do catch a full glimpse, we suck in our stomachs and look at ourselves sideways, trying to convince ourselves that we don't look as overweight as scales so nastily suggest. We believe that our clothes shrank in wash or that size tags are in error. In our mind's eye we see ourselves as we yearn to be and linger long on fantasy of how great we will look when we can get into our favorite outfit.

So no matter our weight, our body image frequently fails to reflect what is in mirror but represents what is held in our mind's eye. The closer we can approach to differing views being compatible, more comfortable we will be in ourselves and more valuable any changes we seek to make.

You may have gained, and lost, an appreciable amount of weight several times on your life, as many of us have. There were undoubtedly times, on your way up and down weight ladder, when your appearance and your self-image diverged. This can be a critically dangerous time. If you are on a diet and losing, but still see yourself as fat, you become anxious: "This diet isn't working," and chances of your just giving up become significant. If you are gaining and still see yourself as thin, you ignore need to take immediate action until one day you can't button any of your clothes. You look at scale in confused surprise: how did this happen without my noticing it ten or fifteen pounds ago?

To permanently control our weight requires a constant awareness of our body in all of its full reality. It doesn't matter if we want to be model-thin, enjoy a middle ground, or even have no emotional distress at remaining pleasantly plump, we need to be aware of our external presentation in order to accurately internalize all aspects of our appearance.

An accurate self-appraisal of your image-in-the-world makes so many decisions easier: should I eat dessert? Should I drive over to gym? Should I take a walk or start that new thriller I've been dying to read? Because you're aware of what needs to be done, and what is allowed, you shake burden of guilt off your shoulders and can truly enjoy activities you choose to pursue. Your mental and physical efforts are synchronized which avoids self-destructive vacillation -- "Should I or shouldn't I?" - and later self-disgust when you feel you made wrong choice.

How do we train ourselves to coordinate our self-perception with our self-presentation? It is undoubtedly a difficult task to accomplish. How many times have you been astonished to learn that others see your words and actions in a totally different light than you meant to convey? We judge others, and they judge us, by external criteria. I am only completely and intimately knowledgeable about one person in world, me, because I am privy only to internal criteria of myself.

We are now going to try to turn ourselves inside out in order to look at ourselves with both an internal and external view.

To figure out how many calories you should have, first start with where you are. In other words, figure out how many calories it takes to maintain your present size and then reduce from there. You can go about this in many ways. Most people simply choose an arbitrary number like 1200 calories and that's what they eat, but in nearly every case that's not nearly enough calories to ensure adequate nutrition, not to mention deprivation that sets up.

While losing weight and to this day, I eat over 2000 calories a day on average and I've maintained a good weight for my height for over 17 years. Remember, your body requires calories to maintain itself.

Basic Calorie Requirements Calculation Based on Activity Level:

Sedentary : 13 X Weight = Avg. cal/day Sedentary is not exercising at all

Moderately Active: 16 X Weight = Avg. cal/day Moderately Active is exercising approximately 3-4 times per week

Very Active: 19 X Weight = Avg. cal/day Very Active is 5-7 strenuous exercise sessions per week. If you weigh over 200 pound now, and you'd like to weigh closer to 150, here is a calculation you could use to get started: Assuming you are going to be adding enough exercise to quality as Moderately Active, we'll use 16 as our modifier:

150 pounds X 16 calories per pound = 2400 calories Less 500 (Using common 500 calories per day reduction) gives us a total of 1900 average calories per day

If you started to incorporate a plan that allowed an average of 1900 calories every day, you'd start to lose weight. The mistake most people make is to reduce calories too much, which ultimately sacrifices muscle plus sets you up for feeling deprived. It's far better in long run to go more slowly, keeping as much muscle as possible while burning calories via exercise. Remember too, even if you don't eat quite that many calories on many days, you might eat more on weekends for instance, so it ends up being closer to your goal of 1900 average per day. Take total calories for week divided by seven.

Remember, this average calorie number gives you plenty of wiggle room during week. You can have some treats along with everyone else, or add more on weekends. Instead of constantly saying, "I can't, I'm on a diet," now you can say, "Thank you, that looks delicious," and enjoy some. It doesn't ruin your diet plan because you've got a large enough calorie allowance that if you are more careful some days than others, it will work out to average number of calories you want. I tend to eat far less calories during week than on weekends and my totals generally average out to 2000 to 2200 calories per day.

The 500 calorie reduction is a well accepted amount. You can reduce your calories further, but I wouldn't recommend it. It doesn't benefit anyone to try for faster weight loss, in fact, if you reduce your calories too much you end up wasting muscle in process, which is exactly what you do not want to do. If you want faster results, it's better to add more activity, thereby burning more calories at rest.

You may be thinking I'm nuts, recommending 1900 calories per day, but I can say for a fact that if you eat too little (1000 - 1200 calories is too few, IMO) then you set yourself up for all of following: