How to get the Alzheimer’s Patient Off the road... Taking the Keys AwayWritten by William Hammond, J.D.
For most people, driving is a necessity as well as a symbol of independence. There are very few people that will easily give up their independence and give you keys to their vehicle. Yet for individuals with Alzheimer's disease, driving a vehicle can pose serious risks and endanger themselves or others. The decision of when to stop driving is one that Alzheimer's patients and their families often face. There are many opinions concerning issue of driving for Alzheimer's patient. If he trusts his physician, doctor may have more success than primary care giver in letting patient know when to stop driving. The physician may be trusted by patient and be able to explain to him that his medical condition may interfere with his driving. This scenario is good for caregiver as it takes responsibility off you and puts it on medical condition, with physician being messenger. Below you will find some guidelines for approaching this sensitive issue with your family and your loved one. Ask your relatives to back you by being pleasantly supportive of your loved one. For a while, make sure he has a ride to familiar frequented places. Routine is so important. Humor is almost always a positive way to cope with this situation. A fun way of approaching subject is to tell him how lucky he is to have his own chauffeur! However, knowing when to take keys out of his hands can become tricky. Here are some warning signs that will help you make decision:
| | For Caregivers: Letting Go of the "G" Word... GUILT (Give Undeserved Illusions Little Thought)Written by William Hammond, J.D.
What is guilt? According to Dictionary.com, it is being responsible for commission of an offense. Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong. Self-reproach for inadequacy or wrongdoing. Is it fact, that you, caregiver, are responsible for an offense? Have you done something wrong? Quite contrary. You have taken on responsibility of caring for a person you love very much. You did not ask for this person to have Alzheimer's Disease, nor did you ask to be caregiver. This is a situation that life has presented to you and you have stepped up to plate. It was a choice to care. What a brave, honorable decision you made. Whether you care for them by yourself or you have assistance (in home care, day care or nursing home care), you are "one" there for them. Why do you take responsibility for things you're not "guilty" of? Is your best not good enough? Of course it is. So, why do you feel inadequate? Because you set goals that are unattainable for anyone to reach. I have worked with many caregivers over past 20 years and majority of them faced feelings of guilt. They put their ALL into caregiving and yet, never felt as if they were doing enough. If you are doing your best, then you are doing enough. You are not guilty of anything. You have not been "sentenced" to this situation, it has been given. When something is given, it is a gift. You can't control what is given to you, but you can control how you choose to respond. A real life example: Several years ago I worked with a man who was caregiver for his wife with Alzheimer's Disease. They had been high school sweethearts and had been married close to 55 years when I met them. I remember first day he talked with me, he was distraught, beside himself, sort of "scattered." (Little did I know, he and his wife had been presenters for Dale Carnegie series, obviously not a "scattered" man). This was a man feeling stress of caring for his wife. When he made decision to take care of himself and get a break, he brought his wife to day center where I worked. Soon after, I began to see a transformation of his state of mind. He was at ease, happy, alive! One day he confided in me about a change in his attitude. He said when he would put his wife to bed at night and finally sit down to relax, there she was. He said moment he saw her, his entire body would tense up, feeling as if he were going to explode. After several of these incidents and feeling much guilt, he said to himself, "something has to change, she can't, so I must." He said he suddenly remembered someone telling him "to give thanks for ALL things." That was his turning point. From that point on when his wife would come out of room at night, he would greet her, sit her next to him on couch. and hold her hand, as if they were dating again. This change in his. response not only calmed him, but had a calming effect on her, allowing her to rest better when she did go to bed. He gave thanks for "extra" time he had with her. I still to this day think of them often and have such admiration for that man, husband...caregiver. I'm thankful for his example.
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