I attended a large networking meeting last week with lots of varying types of businesses and people and one of speakers was talking about and explaining how online networking had helped him go from redundancy to having his own lucrative business that he really enjoyed running in a relatively short period of time. While he wasn’t greatest public speaker that I have encountered, there was something about him that made me want to give him business and that made me like him: he was congruent. He had balance.

What do I mean by Congruent? Or balance? I mean that this is a description of how you are when what you do, say, and deeply believe are all aligned. Congruence and balance is a sort of ‘deep honesty’ about who we are as individuals, and it is attractive and it is appealing. People are powerfully attracted to congruent individuals. People who have balance.

Congruence is not only something that is about how others perceive you. It is also important in how you perceive yourself. If you want to make a powerful change in your life and you really want a particular thing but keep on doing something else, then incongruence will exist in your own perception of yourself too. This can cause loss of balance.

So how do you go about becoming congruent? Or having more balance?

Ok, firstly, figure out your values, then honour them; values are what is important to you. Examples of your values include helping others, having security, enjoying freedom, continuous learning, experiencing love, having a family, etc. You may know some of these right away, areas where you already have balance may start to pop up, while others may take some digging. One way you can find out what you value is to identify something you really want, then ask yourself this question;

“What will that give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have?”

When you have subsequently answered that question to yourself, ask it again.

Ask yourself; What do I want? An example response might be : To reduce my weight.

Then you ask: What will that give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have?” The answer might be: A body I can feel comfortable showing off.

Then ask again: What will that give me that I wouldn’t otherwise have? The answer may well be: Freedom.

To get most from this exercise, you need to take question as far as you can until you get simplest answer and question can be asked no more. When you go as far as you can, you end up with a core value: what it is that’s really important to you. In this example it was freedom. Knowing this can begin to install balance.

Secondly here, pay attention to your body. That also needs balance.

Allthough meating a woman may not solve all your problems. Finding someone to share your life with can be best thing that ever happened to you. You can increase chance of that happening by taking a look at way you date.

Lets face it, most dates are just same old dates that everybody ells take their dates to. Take a good look at you own dating habits. Do you usually do anything out of ordinary for girl when you planning your dates. The answer is most likely NO.

You might not take your date to classical dinner and a movie but rather something more fun like a day in an amusement park but let’s face it. You are hardly only guy that does that and odds are that your date wont be first of its kind for your special lady

Not that classic dates doesn’t have their charm, and I know that many women loves a fine dinner in a nice restaurant. But it still isn’t something that really makes you stand out from rest, nothing that she will remember for years to come whether you end up together or not. To really make an impression you have to make it seem like your something else then all losers she dated in past, even though odds say that you most likely are same. You’re a man aren’t you?

So how do you make a date worth remembering? Well there are a lot of good and bad ways. You could flash her and she would most likely remember you for a long time, but I guarantee you she wouldn’t remember you fondly after that and if she moves in same circles as you, you can be sure that she will ruin your chances with o lot of other women in those circles too. On other hand a good surprising experience could very well improve your chances with other women in her circles even if you don’t get girl in question.