Fear is ever-present and an inescapable part of being human. Where there is a dream, there is fear. Where there is change, there is fear. Along with new opportunities, come fear. Yet somehow, fear has been vilified. We have come to think of fear is inherently bad—something to avoid or eliminate. But truth is fear plays an important and meaningful role in our growth and development.

In “Take Yourself to Top” Laura Berman Fortgang wrote “Every choice you make is rooted either in fear or in courage.” Like two sides of a coin, fear and courage are closely melded together. When you toss coin into air each day, which side have you been landing on? If fear seems to be prevailing, try these strategies to make a friend of fear. Only then will your coin be able to safely land on courage.

1.Respond, rather than react, to fear. 2.Listen to fear as you would a trusted friend 3.Take your fear to end

Respond to fear rather than react to it…

What is your natural way of dealing with fear? Many times we simply react. Re-act. We STOP!, we change direction, we settle for something less fear-inducing, or we ignore it and struggle forward in spite of our fear. None of those reactions makes best use of our fears. These reactions actually prevent us from fully achieving what we desire or dream.

The first step toward making friends with fear is to stop reacting to it and start responding. Our fears are there because they are trying to tell us something about ourselves. When we respond to our fears, we are taking time to listen and then make changes, correct something, or create something that we need. At first sign of fear, STOP, LISTEN and RESPOND. The longer you ignore it, more likely you are to react and regret.

Listen to fear as you would a trusted friend

What if you viewed your fears as a friend instead? What would your friend want you to know? What is it asking of you? When we react to fear, we usually are trying to turn off “negative” emotion. It’s uncomfortable for us and we want to withdraw from it.

Embrace it! Love it as you would a friend. It is not asking you to shrink away from your ambitions, hopes, dreams, opportunities or possibilities. It is asking MUCH MORE of you than that. It’s asking you to Act Bigger. To be self interested, self preserving. Dream big but take care. Have a Plan B. And a Plan C. If you fear failure, build a safety net so that you can get back up and keep moving forward rather than having to spend time and energy putting pieces together. If you fear rejection, give yourself acceptance—fully.

If you are finding that fear is holding you back, try this: Write down fear-based messages you are dealing with. (For example, What if I fail? What if this doesn’t work out? What if they say no? What if they say yes? I am afraid of losing. I can’t do this.)

Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into society, yet we are unable to make withdrawals. Whenever I have felt that way in past, I read essays like Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay Compensation, which I made into a free downloadable copy and distributed last week in special success issue of my ezine.

The other day a good friend of mine told me that I deserve to be more successful because I help so many other people, and so often without seeing a direct reciprocation. Just this morning, it was implied in another conversation that internet community "owes" me something, in return for all free site promotion and marketing information I give away.

But truth is, I don't wonder about what world owes me any longer. That's because I know better, through a long road of mental, physical, emotional and financial struggle, I've come to understand that world really doesn't owe me anything.

I've already been paid, and so have you.

We get our gifts at birth. We're here. We're alive. We're given a set of circumstances, some to overcome, some to elevate us. And yes, sometimes it seems that way world works is unfair. But from a long-range view, is that truly reality?

What's really difference between you and next guy? Is next person smarter than you, faster to pick things up? Maybe, maybe not. But even in that capacity, main differences between someone who is successful and someone who is just barely keeping their head above water has nothing to do with that.

It h as to do with determination, and taking advantage of opportunities presented to you, more than anything else. The paths to belief in yourself that yield that determination are many, but end of that path is same: success.