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HOW TO JUMP FOR JOY AFTER JOY LEAVES YOUR PARTY

By Doug C. Grant

Ever hear this one?

"Man...this growing older stuff is pits. Teeny bobbers own world. I mean you ever see an ancient of days hustling soft drinks or flashy cars on TV? No way. Once you get past 'young' you might as well hang it up. Joy is over."

Yeah, I know. You don't believe that. You don't ever want to believe that. And there's no reason why you should. But you may well have to perform a constant tune-up on yourself once you start losing speed. Otherwise, you could find yourself permanently parked in pits.

It's a sneaky business. Every year you end up doing more things for last time and fewer things for first time. One day, you wake up and find that joy has left your party.

Here's an exercise that will help you recover some of joy of life.

Consider for a moment that you have been given an opportunity to roll years back to age 20. Not only does your youth return but with it comes a fat unending bank account. Pretty nice, huh?

But don't waste opportunity. On a sheet of paper, list things you would like to do or learn now that you're young and rich. Remember, neither age nor money is a problem. Start writing.

Would you like to learn to fly? Climb a major mountain? Take up scuba-diving? Write a book? Start a newspaper? Visit a foreign country?

Pull out all plugs. Soar over all obstacles. If you can think it...write it! Don't let fear or 'I'm just being realistic' attitude stop you. Go ahead. Be unrealistic. This is dream time, baby. Let it all out.

Don't take more than ten minutes for this part of exercise. That should be enough time to list all your major dreams...plus any dreams you might have packed away years ago.

Now...let's do some dream-scheming

Review your list and draw a line through any dream that is simply physically impossible. For example, if you're fifty years old, chances are a major league baseball team isn't going to get excited about having you on roster.

However, you may discover that you don't have to scratch off very many dreams because of physical limitations. Particularly if you ask yourself, "In what ways could I make this dream come true based on my abilities today."

The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens.

However, FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then side door opens and FABS can sneak in.