But everyone wants to give "right" gift. What makes up a great gift?

In my experience, a great gift:

·Is truly unique, personal and creative; ·Demonstrates to recipient thoughtfulness and caring that went into securing gift; ·Evokes emotions from recipient whenever it is used, seen or thought about; and ·Makes recipient truly feel special.

A great gift doesn't necessarily have to cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to be great. But also understand that getting a gift that is cheap can show how much "you don't care." Before you start to shop and buy, also consider following:

1.Who is recipient? Is it your spouse, significant other, sibling, parents, relative, close friends, neighbor or business associate?

First of all, understand they’re playing mind games with you. If sign that you’re dealing with a paranoid person is that you get paranoid, sign that you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive person is that you get angry. Not a quick, clean, clear anger, as you would with someone who confronted you directly. It’s a cloudy sort of emotion that starts slowly. Often, in fact, you’ll be curious about person. Why? Because part of being “passive” is being “hidden,” and so your curiosity is peaked, but not for long. Soon you discover how toxic it is to deal with this person.

What sort of jobs do they have? Quite often, frankly, it’s a job that’s rather low on totem pole, but one, nevertheless, that has power. Also they are often entrenched, dug in like a tick. They have been there “forever,” or may have some special ties to boss or manager. They have some sort of protected status, or tenure, which allows them to stay where they are when no one likes them or wants to work with them.

If it’s any consolation, they generally aren’t promoted, being unpromotable, but this only adds to negativity that feeds their passive-aggression.

An example would be Supply Clerk in a law firm. They’re responsible for “special” supplies – such as when a trial notebook is needed – and are often also in charge of assembling it. This puts them in a very powerful position, as they can stall your work just at time it’s needed most. You can really hit a brick wall if your boss is unaware or unconcerned, or if they’re one who keeps P-A person on staff.

Trying to ingratiate yourself to P-A person rarely works. They usually aren’t truly friendly people, so they may let you try, but it doesn’t lead to real cooperation, nor will it solve your problem.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN TRY:

1. Start documentation.

Note that you’ve asked them to do something and then make paper trail. At least in that way, if project fails, your supervisor or boss will see where problem was.

2. Go around them if you possibly can.

Order extra supplies when you don’t need them and stockpile them. Write your own memos. Make phone call yourself. It’s just easier in long run, and will save you a lot of frustration.

3. Confront them with particular behavioral issues.

That is, don’t go into personalities, which is tempting in this case, but state what happened and how you felt about it. When they fail to deliver, state this. “I asked you to XXX and you said you would, and then you didn’t.” Then just let it hang. Sometimes when they’ve been “uncovered,” they’ll respond better to you.

4. Go directly to your supervisor and state problem in behavioral terms.