Just about all of us would like to see some degree of improvement in way we perceive ourselves. If only there was a magic pill that would make us feel bold, smart, rich, beautiful, and cute all at same time. Yet, this priceless treasure called self-esteem seems to be elusive and volatile.

To make matters worse, everybody else seems to have it in abundance – so why can’t I just grab a big junk of it and hold on to it, at least until I have secured this great job/lover/win?

Well, there is a reason for this: self-esteem is not a single, solid “thing” one can chase down, obtain and possess. It is rather a fluid quality that evolves naturally, when obstructions that keep it from expanding are dissolved. These obstructions could be: traumatic (childhood) memories, bad habits, fears/phobias, performance anxiety, or a poor body image. In other words, it is usually not a single negative event or circumstance that does damage: It’s long-lasting, underlying, often hidden issues that erode our self-worth, often without our awareness.

O.K., there really is no magic pill to get rid of all these problems in a very short time, but there is something that comes pretty close: It is called EFT, and it is designed to take on everything that stands in way of high self-esteem.

Holidays and start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we can improve ourselves, and have life we want in future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will save more money - and then lose our way. That's because we aren't matching our resolutions with who we are inside. We're more likely to succeed if we work on discovering our inner, Real selves, appreciate who we already are, and then take a chance on custom-made changes, not one-size-fit all resolutions. Here are ten tips for making new year better in a Real way.

1. Let your values be your guide -- There are plenty of people who will tell you what should be important to you, if you let them. Friends, co-workers, family, even mass media, bombard us with opinions and ideas. Don't just accept what others say. Decide for yourself what matters most and let those values set your course.

2. Take a long-term view -- Bad habits, difficult relationships, and other disappointments don't develop overnight. Similarly, life doesn't get better in a moment. Change happens slowly, step-by-step. Have patience to see it through.

3. Let Go of "Shoulds" -- When you were a kid, you needed grown-ups to tell you what was right and wrong and what you should do in a given situation. As an adult you can make these choices for yourself. "Shoulds" produce resentment and anger. Instead, do what you know in your heart is right, and set your own standards.

4. Define Yourself as Beautiful -- Fewer than five percent of us believe we are beautiful, but whenever I meet someone, I can see something beautiful in her right away. You may not fit mass media image of conventional, external beauty, but there are things that make you attractive. Remember, beauty is an inside job.