Have you ever been really sure about something, only to find out you were mistaken?
Did you notice how you operated “as if” you were correct? You may have even seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled world in a way to support your stance. And perhaps you felt you had solid logic to support this position.
So how did possibility of an opposite opinion make its way through your logic and basically reality as you knew it, to get you to change your mind?
Did you fight hard to stay where you were? Did you go through so called “denial”? Did you lock in to your position, and build up a wall to prevent entry of any contrary thought?
Now question I have for you is, “Were you keeping them out or were you trapping yourself in?”
In sales, a prospect may be dead-set in his view about a particular product or service. Now sales rep may know that prospect does not have all facts yet, so he sets out trying to convey this to prospect.
One of two things can result. One prospect tightens grip on his view or two he begins to shift his perception. Now this of course depends on rapport and sales strategy used by sales professional to enter into prospect’s “thought blockade” and free him from that “one” perspective. Listen to conversations around you, perhaps even words coming out of your own mouth, are you building your own thought blockade or ”thought trap”?
If so, how do you get out? Then (If so desired!) how do you get others out?
RECOGNIZE THE TRAPS!
Let’s start by looking at traps of intellectual mind, one who weaves such wonderful webs of logic that leaves us feeling good while keeping us quite stuck.
Trap One: Being Right
I often tell couples l work with, “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” Surprisingly, I see quite a lot of incongruent responses. It is like they know they should say “be happy” and (that’s why they do), but in fact, they really want to say “be right”.
Now real interesting thing is that intellect wants to be right, regardless of you being right or not. Confused?
Then let’s make an important distinction.
You are not your intellect! You being (soul) are much, much more! The intellect’s limitations are not your limitations to degree that you can separate your “self” (soul) from intellect. Recognizing these traps and how to avoid them will help in that separation process.
Trap Two: Validation
The intellect seeks constant validation. It is constantly saying recognize me, notice me, “Hey! I’m over here!” Whether it is validation from authorities or peers, this need for validation becomes a crucial trap to avoid.
Kids learn this early on. A child comes home with their report card in hand and an eager look of anticipation, waiting for those few key words, “Oh honey, you did great!” Yeah! The kids can now feel worthy. Now imagine what happens when this is compounded over a few decades. Pretty soon we are all looking for validation in every direction.
Trap Three: Sharing
I’ve just got to tell you about this one. Oh you won’t believe it. The intellect likes to share things. Through sharing it can feel more validated and of course be right.
Ever felt like crap and wanted to let others know that you felt that way? Did you hope they would sympathize with your story and tell you how right you are in feeling this way? Hoping they would validate your stance?
If so, then you fell into another trap to feed intellect while starving your real self.
Trap Four: Safety
As intellect spins its logic, forming a thought blockade, it is also creating a sense of safety. If it constructs well-thought-out logic that sounds reasonable, it is safe from any challenges.
So what happens when a contrary idea comes knocking on door? The intellect’s internal safety procedure is kicked in. You may have seen behaviors that go along with such an internal process if you have ever challenged someone’s “sacred cow.”
A woman called me up a few weeks back and wanted me to see her son because he was very messy. She asked if I could hypnotize him to always clean up after himself. I told her that it certainly was possible; however I wanted to know a few things first.
So I asked her what happens to her when she sees that he hasn’t cleaned up after himself? She replied with great tension in her voice, “Well that just makes my blood boil!” So I asked if it always made her blood boil. She stammered, “Yes!”
Then I asked her what she thought about her response she had to his messiness. I asked her what kinds of effects she thinks this may be having on her own body, her health. I continued by saying, what if she could see a messy room and her blood not boil. Talk about running full force right into a sacred cow. (Moooove!)