by Anthony Kane, MD

One of most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, mere look of dissatisfaction on face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting.

In addition, this bond is essential for child's emotional stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to work environment and new social situations.

How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child love and affection that he needs.

Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own children are suffering from lack of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill. However, truth is that many of our children who come from good homes are not getting physical warmth and love that they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who provide for child’s physical needs with as little warmth and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical needs for contact.

by Anthony Kane, MD

A certain educator was once asked at what point should a parent begin to prepare for child raising.

"How old are you?" educator inquired. "Twenty-three." "You should begin twenty-three years ago."

What is message? The single most important thing a parent can do to educate a child is to provide child with a good role model. A parent has to work a whole lifetime becoming type of person that he wants his child to become.

The most important people in world in child's eyes are his parents. They are his first and most important teachers. The behavior of a child's parents leaves a permanent impression in child's subconscious mind. Why is this so? The reason is that most reliable source of priorities and values in a child's eyes is his parents. Children have an innate trust in their parents. They feel that everything their parents say and do is true and proper way to behave.

We all wish our children would do what we say and not what we do. However, this is not how mind of a child works. The intellect of a child is undeveloped. As a result, children function an emotional level, absorbing more from what they see and hear around them than from what they are taught.