How to Cope When Someone You Love is Deployed

Written by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach

When we must part with a loved one, we have physical and emotional reactions beyond our control. Our emotional intelligence skills can help us manage them. Having someone you love deployed is extremely stressful.


Newborns separated from their mothers show usrepparttar extremes of "protest-despair behavior." Whenrepparttar 126245 infant is separated,repparttar 126246 body reacts, pumping out stress hormones that affectrepparttar 126247 nervous system and muscle groups. Cortisol, repparttar 126248 'stress' hormone, can increase 10x, and gastrointestinal functions are upset. Then there's withdrawal, heart rate slows, body temperature lowers (presumably attempts to "survive"), andrepparttar 126249 immune system gets out of kilter.

Any separation from a loved one during our lifetime will mimic this reaction because we're humans, because we love, because we bond. The price we pay is that separation is painful.

Atrepparttar 126250 same time, ifrepparttar 126251 person being deployed is your lover, you'll be deprived ofrepparttar 126252 oxytocin, that delicious love-hormone that makes us feel good even thinking about our loved one.

That Was No Gorilla, That Was My Inattentional Blindness

Written by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach

If you were watching a basketball game and someone in a gorilla costume stomped acrossrepparttar court pounding his chest, you'd notice, wouldn't you?

According to psychologist Dan Simons, there's only a 50% chance you would!

It's called "inattentional blindness" or "change blindness" - being too focused to see things right in front of our eyes.

According to a fascinating article in "The Carleton Voice," by Jack El-Hai, when Simons had subjects watch a basketball video and told them to countrepparttar 126244 number of players' passes, half of them didn't notice whenrepparttar 126245 gorilla walked across.

"We have to rewindrepparttar 126246 tape to show them [the gorilla]," said Simons. "That's what I find most interesting about all this -repparttar 126247 size ofrepparttar 126248 errors we can make. We really believe that something important will attract our attention much ofrepparttar 126249 time."

The article continues to describe another experiment not unlike candid camera:

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