How to Be Strong and PowerfulWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach
When we think of leadership, we often think of traits of strength, and power. But what are these really, and how do they operate?Leadership today is not about coercion and forcing others to do things. If these things are even possible, they are short-term, and tend to backfire. If you force someone to do something against their will, they may do it because they feel they must, but resentment they feel will do more harm in long-term. They will also experience fear. Fear causes thinking brain to shut down, making person unable to function at his or her best. If they associate you with this emotion of fear, they will become less functional around you, and you will have succeeded in not only shooting yourself in foot, but possibly rendering a very competent and effective employee, partner or colleague dysfunctional. Fear has no place in leadership. The way we influence people in a lasting way is by our own character, way of being, and understanding and use of emotion. We can order someone to do something, which may be part of work day; or we can engage them at emotional level, so they become invested in project and provide some of their own motivation. Today’s work place is all about relationships. It always has been, but it’s just now being labeled as such. Anyone works harder in a positive environment where they’re recognized and valued as a human being as well as a worker. Everyone produces just a bit more for someone they like. This is human nature. Leaders understand way things work, not a fantasy of how things “should” work. Over and over we read that pay check is not single most motivating factor in work life of most people. What is? The relationship!
| | Celebrating the Couch PotatoWritten by Dr. Freddy Davis
Ah, couch potato, that icon of American pop culture values. Isn’t that life? Why would anyone want to exert extra energy to be productive when you can simply plop down on couch in front of telly and enjoy all that delicious snack food and a cool one. Why worry about a yard that needs mowing, a sink full of dishes or that overflowing garbage can. They will all be there tomorrow or even next week - you can take care of them then, or not. There are more important things to do. On TV there are all those fantastic game shows, ball games and sitcoms. Oh, those beautiful sitcoms. You can, literally, sit there for hours and be transported to an altered state of consciousness where you can laugh and cry and be entertained and not have to do one little bit of thinking whole time. And don’t forget those great video movies. You can transport yourself to become a great athlete or movie star, and can even fall in love or feel a whole range of other emotions without ever having to risk danger or heartache. What a life! Then there is great food. Everyone knows that best food in world is snack food. It is virtually drips with tastiest greasy stuff you can find. And there are dozens of flavors of chips and all kinds of frozen pizzas and other tasty things you can just throw into microwave during a commercial. Then there are all sweet snacks. My favorite has to be Zebra Cakes, but who could turn their nose up at cookies, cakes, pies and candy. And drinks - ah yes, drinks. There are so many flavors of canned soda these days that you could have a different kind every day for a month - and so many are low calorie. That’s so great because with all of calories you save drinking those, you can grab a couple of extra slices of pizza. Of course there are a couple of minor drawbacks. Being a couch potato may cause you to gain weight and suffer a few health problems that go along with that. And with lack of exercise you might end up being a bit weak physically. And of course, with all TV viewing, mind gets a little numb. But what are a few minor irritations compared to overwhelming happiness that allows you to sing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” even in your sleep.
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