One of
most important parts of any conversation is silence. Silence can serve many functions in a conversation and how you manage it determines your level of sophistication. Here are some points to keep in mind about silence in communication.
1. Allowing silence in a conversation puts pressure on other person.
It’s conventional in US not to allow any sort of extended silence in a conversation. Therefore, to allow one puts pressure on other person to "fill air time". Some interviewers, for instance, use this technique to see what will happen. Often person will “spill” – saying exactly thing they didn’t want to say.
2. Silence can indicate hostility.
Withdrawing, “stonewalling,” and pouting in silence are ways some people handle anger. Such a silence can be pulsating with bad feelings and elicit anger on part of other person.
3. Silence can indicate disagreement.
While it’s almost never an indication of indifference, silence can indicate that other person is having negative emotions. When we experience anger, fear, or embarrassment, our thinking brain shuts down. We sit there fuming, unable to speak; enraged and unable to find words; afraid and scared speechless. Some people are “flooded” with these emotions, and unable to respond.
4. Silence can indicate profoundness, such as awe or horror.
Sometimes when we’re listening to someone else, we hear something that leaves us speechless because it really goes beyond words. Listening to someone talk about a dreadful trauma they’ve endured, or a beautiful, almost-sacred interaction with another human being, or a description of an awesome natural event such as a sunset or a volcano eruption are examples. Somehow when we listen to such things, ordinary “Oh” and “Wow” and “That’s awesome” don’t seem enough, and so we fall silent.
5. Silence can indicate respect.
In some cultures more than others, silence indicates respect. A young person may be expected to approach an older person or a person in authority and remain silent until recognized, acknowledged and spoken to.
