Title: HOW WELL DO KNOW YOUR PARTNER? Author: Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Email: mailto:editor@overcoming-depression.com copyright: by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Web Address: http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com Word Count: 692 Category: Relationships

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

For my birthday last year my wife made up a beautifully framed picture of my name, and then underneath it she listed 32 positive qualities I possess. Needless to say, it was one of finest gifts I have ever received. Some of qualities even taught me about me. After that wonderful gift, my wife, son and daughter (kids are 6 and 4 years old) put together a similar "Greatest Daddy" list for Father's Day last year that warms my heart to this day. It lists both behaviors and personal traits of me as a father.

Today's topic is around this very thing… how well do you know your partner and how well are you known by your partner? Usually there's a passionate fire early in relationship, which brings a desire to know everything about your new partner that there is to know. This is wonderful and a great way in which to become acquainted with one another. All good beginnings usually have many question and answer sessions. As you come to know each other at deeper and deeper levels, you become close friends.

There's a dangerous myth (maybe more than one!) floating around about couples. It's once you know all there is about him or her, that's all there is to know. The truth is that you grow, adapt and change all time. We all do. Unfortunately, unless you and your partner take time to know one another as you grow over time, you lose touch with who your partner is. This leads to a sense of disconnection, and distance which follows, can cost you your friendship. A couple's friendship is vital to long-term survival and quality of relationship.

My preference as a feng shui professional is to keep more visible, frequently used areas of home uncluttered. If that means storing some things under bed, so be it, as long as it is done thoughtfully and appropriately.

There are two reasons why your bed is so important in feng shui. The first is principle of proximity, which states that closer something is to you stronger its effect will be. The second is principle of duration, which means that longer you are exposed to a particular influence stronger its effect will be.

If we were getting our eight full hours of sleep every night, we'd be spending a third of our lives in bed. Even with long days and not enough sleep, average person probably spends 25% or more of his or her time in bed. Keeping factors of proximity and duration in mind, this means that anything that is close to you while you sleep will have a strong effect on you, either physically or symbolically.

Since you are probably well protected from below by a nice thick mattress, whatever you've got stashed beneath your bed isn't likely to be directly harmful. However, in feng shui symbolic energy of an object or image is just as important as whatever literal impact it may have. If you are using your underbed area for storage, take a moment to think about implications of whatever is down there, especially if you haven't been sleeping well lately. If you don't remember what you've stashed under your bed, it's time to take another look.

Here are some things that you ought to find another place for:

- Shoes under bed can keep you "running around" all night even when you are sound asleep. No matter how many hours of sleep you get, you may never feel well rested.

- Exercise gear, workout clothes, and sports equipment are also less than relaxing. Unless you want to feel like you're "going nowhere fast" in life, don't store your treadmill, rowing machine, aerobic step under bed. Tennis rackets (or other gear for competitive sports) can bring a competitive, adversarial energy to your romantic relationships. It's best not to have any kind of exercise or sports equipment in bedroom at all if you can find another place for it.