How To Identify What The Question "Should I get a divorce?" Means To You.

Written by Karl Augustine


Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not is an agonizing experience to go through. If you are asking yourself "should I get a divorce?", you've been thinking about your relationship's state for a while or an isolated incident (an example is an extramarital affair) that occurred was so terrible, that you want to just chuck it all and start over with a new life!

If you have been asking yourself "should I get a divorce?" for any length of time, you should figure out what is making you feel that way if you haven't already. Takerepparttar time to reflect back on why you're leaning towards divorce rather than working out your marriage problem. Once you identifyrepparttar 122076 things that are making you feel like divorce isrepparttar 122077 right option, make a list of those things.

Once you make that list, go back through each item onrepparttar 122078 list that led you to asking yourselfrepparttar 122079 question "should I get a divorce?". Look at each item onrepparttar 122080 list in depth and make certain you really deem those items as valid reasons for wanting a divorce, either in and of themselves or as a part of a common theme of reasons that make up a whole set.

Once you trimrepparttar 122081 list down to include only truly 'valid reasons', rank each reason in order of importance. Identify 2 reasons that holdrepparttar 122082 most weight to you and that contributed most to you asking yourself "should I get a divorce?".

After you accomplish this, decide if these reasons seem like things that can be changed forrepparttar 122083 better or if they are just flat out unrecoverable. Soul search and decide whether or not you are willing to do what it takes to try and fixrepparttar 122084 problem that is associated with these reasons.

Example: If one of your reasons for thinking about divorce is because your spouse is insanely jealous of you having friendly and/or purely plutonic relationships with members ofrepparttar 122085 opposite sex, decide whether or not you are willing to socialize less with members ofrepparttar 122086 opposite sex (or in a different manner) or do what it takes to ensure that your spouse understands and believes that you truly love him/her. If you aren't willing to do either of those things (or anything else it may take to changerepparttar 122087 situation), you have some serious long-term thinking to do about whether you really want to stay married.

Comparison of Medieval and Renaissance Marriage Customs.

Written by Cyd Klein


The Old and New testaments provided early church leaders with conflicting views regarding marriage. Biblical writings had clearly indicated men and women relationships outsiderepparttar confines of marriage, multiple partner marriages, andrepparttar 122075 use of concubines.

The Bible was also rampant with stories of lust as inrepparttar 122076 story of David and Bathsheba. St Augustine defended this by writing that God said it pleased him that certain individuals amongstrepparttar 122077 Patriarchs ofrepparttar 122078 Bible have many wives, specifically forrepparttar 122079 multiplication of their offspring. He further suggested thatrepparttar 122080 only reason women would need more than one husband would be for lustful gratification.

To giverepparttar 122081 old guy his due, he also is credited with saying, "Let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, andrepparttar 122082 wife see that she reverence her husband." Augustine considered marriage a sacrament, a permanent union of faith.

Now that marriage was declared a sacrament,repparttar 122083 church leaders thusly made a declaration that men and women should pursue marriage with only one partner. They added that sexual relations withrepparttar 122084 confines of a marriage should be for procreation and not for lust alone. Once marriage had become a sacrament, it soon followed thatrepparttar 122085 church needed legislative power over marriage and that a priest should perform a nuptial blessing.

Something as important as deciding on a marriage partner was not left inrepparttar 122086 hands ofrepparttar 122087 bride and groom, forrepparttar 122088 bride and groom were usually children. Parents arranged marriages inrepparttar 122089 Middle Ages when their children were still very young. If love was involved at all, it came well afterrepparttar 122090 wedding had taken place. Girls were as young as twelve and boys as young as 17. The arrangements were not considered complete until a wedding notice was posted onrepparttar 122091 door ofrepparttar 122092 church.

Marriages continued to be arranged duringrepparttar 122093 Renaissance. Boys could marry at age 14 and girls at 12, with their parentís permission. The families fromrepparttar 122094 groom and brides side would come together and work outrepparttar 122095 dowry.

Inrepparttar 122096 middle ages, marriages were arranged to improverepparttar 122097 socioeconomic status ofrepparttar 122098 parties involved. The brides family provided a dowry torepparttar 122099 boy she would marry. The dowry could be quite substantial, including cash, lands, or other valuable assets. Her future husband would have complete control overrepparttar 122100 dowry forever. In

Italian marriages duringrepparttar 122101 Renaissance,repparttar 122102 dowry wasrepparttar 122103 most important part ofrepparttar 122104 pre-marriage ritual, but in Florence besides gifts fromrepparttar 122105 bride's family there were counter-gifts from her husband and his family. The ritual would go back and forth, giving gifts to those who gave gifts in response to previous gifts. The expense was so great that some men gave up on marriage or married at a much later time in their life when they could affordrepparttar 122106 expense.

Unlikerepparttar 122107 Medieval times,repparttar 122108 Renaissance dowry remained withrepparttar 122109 bride her entire life. If she was widowed, she could return to her family with her dowry, but she would have to leave her children with her husbandís family.

In England, a marriage contract included provision both forrepparttar 122110 bride's dowry and for a jointure, or settlement, in cash and property byrepparttar 122111 husband's family, that guaranteed her welfare should her husband die first.

Forrepparttar 122112 most partrepparttar 122113 church was involved inrepparttar 122114 ceremonies that took place. The Council of Westminster had decreed in 1076 that no man should give his daughter or female relative to anyone without priestly blessing.

Weddings duringrepparttar 122115 middle ages were considered family and community affairs. It was important that both parties consented torepparttar 122116 marriage; this could be substituted withrepparttar 122117 consent ofrepparttar 122118 parents. The ceremony was performed in church. Vows were exchanged outsiderepparttar 122119 church before everyone moved inside for mass. There was a procession both from and torepparttar 122120 brideís home.

It was a custom inrepparttar 122121 Medieval time that ifrepparttar 122122 groom was not fromrepparttar 122123 area he would buy a round of drinks forrepparttar 122124 local young men to make amends for removing a local girl fromrepparttar 122125 marriage market. Guests would often bring cakes from home that would be stacked on top of each other. The newly weds would have to try to kiss overrepparttar 122126 cakes without toppling them. This isrepparttar 122127 origin ofrepparttar 122128 modern multi-tiered wedding cake.

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