While speaking with others or listening to radio or television, do you pay attention to words and phrases people use? Try that. Try to identify their dominant modes. By modes, I mean visual, audio, or kinesthetic. Do they see things -- I see what you're saying, hear things -- I hear what you're saying, or feel things -- I feel that I have a grasp on what you are saying?

As you do, keep a running tally on words and phrases and which mode they represent. The Late Show with David Letterman or The Tonight Show with Jay Leno gives you plenty of opportunities to observe speaking habits. Once you get used to paying attention to a stranger's speaking habits, you can easily go on to people you know.

Now, once you've determined which mode person is using to communicate, practice using same words and phrases as that people in your conversations with him or her. You don't have to do it exactly. Stay in same mode, but use different words. I see -- I view it this way. I hear -- that sounds right to me. I feel -- I'm touched by that.

But today - red. Hmmmm.... When I journal, I usually let my mind go and write whatever comes to mind, regardless of whether it makes sense. Usually it's a few thoughts about something in past, or something I need to get done in future. But today, we got right down to business. It was as if my hand were on auto-pilot, and my central processing unit was barking out orders. The first line went "GOAL SETTING AND GOAL GETTING MUST BE OUR MAIN GOAL." The rich, red letters mesmerized my eyes. Something clicked. A dialogue was forthcoming. A dialogue between my task oriented self and my procrastination oriented self. "Task" was trying to get some cooperation. "Procrastination" was up to its usual antics. The dialogue went something like this...

Procrastination: But what do you mean we need to do some goal setting? We've done a lot of stuff lately?! I need a break!

Task: Yes, we've done "stuff." How much of that stuff relates to our life goals? For example, that big proposal we keep talking about. If we're to get anywhere with it, we've got to start.

Procrastination: Oh, come on. The proposal can wait. I'll get that done in no time. You take a break and let me handle things. Before I get to that proposal though, I need to find where I've put a ton of my papers, files, addresses I need in order to get started. Yikes, I need to do all sorts of stuff. And before I can get to that, my desk needs to get cleared off. Oh yeah, and kitchen sure could use a cleaning, and I need to pick out this year's Christmas cards, and...

Task: The household stuff will wait, and you know you have no plans to attack kitchen anyway. It's an excuse. And, your desk is fine. We did a quick once-over yesterday. How much clearer does it have to get? We need to at least start. Any other excuses?

Procrastination: Well, I need to block out a big chunk of time. That will be impossible. You know how busy we are these days.

Task: Block out an hour.

Procrastination: We need more than an hour and we don't have it.

Task: Start out with an hour. Block it out on your calendar.

Procrastination: But...

Task: Now.

Procrastination: Alright. There. Saturday morning, 9:00 am. Happy?

Task: Not yet. What's task we're going to work on.