Effective communication is a highly valuable skill. It enriches our personal and social lives. In business it's a matter of life and death. This article will show us how we can gain almost instant rapport with whoever we meet whether in person or through writing.THREE MODES In recent years, much has been learned about
way human brain processes information. The memories we have, way we perceive experiences, are controlled by our visual, auditory and kinesthetic abilities. Everything in our minds is there primarily due to what we see, hear and feel. Remember these three modalities, they are VERY important. Again, they are VISUAL, AUDITORY, KINESTHETIC.
These three modes combine in any learning or communication process. We use all of them to a degree. However, research indicates that with majority of us, one of those modes is more dominant than others. Do you like to learn by watching, looking at diagrams or training videos? Probably you are more visually oriented. Do you prefer to be told through spoken word? Or are you kind that likes to get his hands on subject and starting doing, learning through a process of experimentation? Then you are probably more of an auditory or kinesthetic.
If this is true of us, it is true of other person. What if you knew which kind of mode is dominant in person you are talking or writing to? Could that help build rapport or in some way make communication more effective? YOU BET! Companies have spent thousands of dollars educating their salesmen to utilize this knowledge. The results? Dramatic!
How can you apply this very valuable insight? By taking special note of words and phrases your prospect uses. People often uses expressions that indicate which modality they are thinking in at that moment. For example, "I see what you mean", "I hear you", "I've got a feeling about this". When you hear these expressions, sit up, take note. They are sign posts pointing to that person's modality.
So you have sign posts, what do you do now? You respond in same manner. Start using expressions in that person's dominant modality. Why should this work? Because words convey ideas to other person's mind. You start communicating on other person's wavelength. Just like to modems making an internet connection, your two brains start 'hand shaking'. The effect is amazing. Skeptical? That's understandable. Just start and try it and you won't be any longer.
REAL LIFE EXAMPLE Here is a true life experience. A close friend of mine has a very successful business as a financial advisor. He read up on this subject and started employing these methods. One day he walked into office of a manager interested in a pension plan. My friend noticed many beautiful pictures on manager's office walls. He commented on them and gave an honest compliment. The manager used expressions like "let me show you", "you must see this". My friend immediately picked up on this and realized manager was a visual.
