How Not to Compromise With Your Partner By David LeonhardtDo you ever disagree with your spouse? Or your boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course not – she/he/it is perfect, right?
You can imagine my shock when my friend confided in me that he and his wife often fought over tiny things.
"You're kidding."
"Yes, we fight over
tiniest, most unimportant things," he confirmed.
"Well, why don't you just let her have her way then?"
"Because we also fight over big, important things," he admitted.
"What about compromise?"
"We do that all time," he responded.
"So what's problem?"
"The problem is that she wins most of compromises."
Compromises are never easy. A reasonable compromise is when both parties feel they won. A truly great compromise is when both parties know they lost.
The problem is that even most modest of us, when thrust into perils of compromise, have inflatable egos.
For instance, my wife and I were recently waging compromise, and I don't even recall what diplomatic gaffe I had committed. But she was determined to set me straight. "Don't be so premature," my wife scolded.
"Premature?"
"Amateur, then," she said.
"Amateur?
"No, other word. Stop acting like a such child!" she shouted, looking for a dictionary.
God gave us dictionaries so we wouldn't have to spell. They are big books with small print, and trying to find anything in them shortens fuses and, in heat of compromise, can only lead to dictionary projectile injuries. Fortunately, our house is messy enough to conceal even largest dictionary.
