How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future

Written by Brian Maloney


Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside inrepparttar past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity?

Well, that is certainly not what I mean. What I do mean is when a past is littered with seemingly overwhelming pain, it impedes one’s ability to move forward and adjust to this ever-changing world. A good analogy would be of a backpack filled with distressful memories that one tries to swim with, but it always seems to weigh you down, allowing you to merely breathe, is quite fitting.

This backpack, even though not physically attached to one’s body, seems like some type of appendage that ridding oneself of is unbelievably difficult or painful. So, as humans do, we many times avoid, at all costs,repparttar 129262 detachment of this pain because it has indelibly been written into a past as if in stone.

Therefore, using it as an old wooden crutch to not live our lives to its fullest potential, is how many people see their past. These excuses fill our lives with procrastination and that procrastination is an excellent way of delaying a healthier future, devoid of these negative memories.

If, for example, a series of painful experiences throughout your childhood, like verbal or sexual abuse, always seem to haunt your ability to progress in your interpersonal relationships. In turn, you subconsciously sabotage these relationships by not giving enough of yourself, or verbally giving too much of yourself.

Fundamentally,repparttar 129263 mindset of intertwiningrepparttar 129264 past withrepparttar 129265 present hurts everything you come in contact with, becauserepparttar 129266 backpack is still around your aching shoulder.

Getting rid ofrepparttar 129267 backpack may berepparttar 129268 hardest thing you can do, but considerrepparttar 129269 cost of maintaining its existence? A mind polluted with pain is not only counterproductive, but can sometimes be dangerous, givenrepparttar 129270 wrong person and situation.

Well then, how do I know if my past is hurting my future?

A hurtful past surfaces subconsciously, if not properly let go. Moreover, consciously you arerepparttar 129271 only person who can detect and determine what pain you carry with you, so that becomes your antidote.

How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance?

Written by Brian Maloney


When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subconscious idea as to how much maintenance this connection will need. Usually, if given some thought, we can throw a microscope over this concept while it is in its fledgling state.

However, time, no matter how you cut it, is a commodity and is as precious as a trillion dollars in your hot little hands. We attempt to save it, cut it, splice it among several tasks, take it for granted, and waste it. Although, most of us never consciously connect relationship maintenance with time. In going back to a new relationship, it cannot be denied that in this most tender state, both parties look to each other for needs to be fulfilled. If enough maintenance is not given by one,repparttar other will eventually pull back, unless an understanding is clearly stated fromrepparttar 129259 outset.

For example, at this point in my life, with a young daughter, my time is squarely directed towards my family. This is especially true, considering I spend my mornings with her, and see her every night. In order for me to be able to give any other relationshiprepparttar 129260 consideration it needs, I would have to scale back my time with my family, and at this point I am not willing to do this.

Being spread as thin as hot butter is a concept we can all relate to.

This is just my viewpoint on maintainingrepparttar 129261 integrity of my family relations. Moreover, it is not a reality for myself to hook up with my friends atrepparttar 129262 drop of a hat anymore, at least at this point in my life.

So how do we make this determination as to how much time we should designate to prospective relationships?

Well, it merely comes down to how solid a foundation you wish them to be on. For me personally, I want my family relationships to be on a rock-solid foundation. Sacrificingrepparttar 129263 maintenance of other relationships is how your value system should be designed.

Secondly, examining your friendships and their cost benefit ratio, not only for you, but forrepparttar 129264 friend, should definitely be indicated.

Are you going to berepparttar 129265 type when life deals a bad hand to your friend, you abandon that particular person just because some gears inevitably switched for them? If you are that non-understanding of a person, you are not a true friend. Then comes inrepparttar 129266 question of loyalty to that friend, if you struggle with spending less time with him/her due to their newfound change. Having a heart to heart discussion with that person to obtain his/her mindset and system of values, would always berepparttar 129267 best route to take.

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use