How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself?

Written by Rosella Aranda

In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating patterns,repparttar obvious first step is to become aware of what these patterns are. The easiest way to do this is simply to become a casual observer of your own behavior and to take stock of how you treat yourself. Note bothrepparttar 145999 negative andrepparttar 146000 positive aspects. Don't make a big chore of this. Simply intend to "hear" what you tell yourself as you go about your business. Notice how you "look" at yourself. Do you ever smile at yourself inrepparttar 146001 mirror? Do you ever greet yourself as someone you're glad to see? After youíve monitored yourself for a day or two, ask yourself which one of these categories you fall into. 1) You always look at yourself with a hypercritical eye and you often mentally refer to yourself as stupid, lazy, clumsy, ugly, gross, or other demeaning terms. You constantly require outside validation in order to feel even halfway decent about yourself. 2) You maintain a ďneutralĒ approach to your own person, hardly even noticing anything in particular about yourself. You just take yourself, your appearance, and your performance for granted. Itís almost as if you were a non-entity whose job it is to just keep showing up, but you certainly donít take any real pleasure in your own company. You base your worth primarily on how others react to you. 3) You make a point of it to treat yourself withrepparttar 146002 utmost respect. You speak to yourself in onlyrepparttar 146003 most courteous and encouraging tones. You actively note and register appreciation for your most likeable qualities and you enjoy your own company. You maintain this outlook despite what othersí opinions of you may be. After all, it is your opinion and validation that matter to you most. Clearly, this last option is what we are striving for. Contrary to what some may think, this is not vanity or egotism. It is self-affirmation. It is creating a friendly ďallianceĒ with someone who will be with yourepparttar 146004 rest of your days. Other people come and go, and amongrepparttar 146005 ones who stay, they are primarily focused on their own lives. It is no oneís responsibility but your own to validate your existence. You arerepparttar 146006 only one who can provide yourself

Let's Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

Written by Rosella Aranda

Letís Get torepparttar Bottom of Low Self-Esteem If you suffer from low self-esteem, itís because you donít know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true. Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people. Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors runrepparttar 145998 gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Hereís a small assortment: - constant tardiness - clumsiness, accident proneness - failure to keep promises or honor commitments - staying stuck in an unfulfilling job - perfectionism - feeling like a fraud, afraid that youíll be exposed - feeling empty, hollow despite outward success - workaholism - consistently poor choice of partners - being a jack of all trades, master of none - not knowing what you want to be ďwhen you grow upĒ - life-threatening addictions - self-mutilation Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we donít deserve it. To overcomerepparttar 145999 effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are. We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter We must sniff outrepparttar 146000 internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered. We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Untilrepparttar 146001 core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best. We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our

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