These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this "dating experience" that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.

So what exactly do these terms mean? "Hooking up" is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal "date" involved. "Friends with benefits" usually refers to two people who are "friends" who also have sex together. Again, there's a distinction between what they share and "dating". "Booty call" usually describes act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn't follow dinner, a movie or other "quality" time together, getting to really know each other. It's physical.

Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it's important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.

Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:

Am I comfortable with intimacy? Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship? Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached? How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior? Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection? Is monogamy and marriage my goal?

A paper shredder is great, but you may not need one.

I mean, how many times do you throw away private documents at home? Occasionally. Certainly not enough to invest in a shredder.

If you are still shredding your private information by hand like me, then this solution might work for you. When you are ready to dispose of your private documents...

(1) Fill your sink up with water.

(2) Soak private documents (that you are planning to throw away) in water for at least 20-30 seconds. You may have to do this in groups--several times if you have a large pile.

(3) When they are completely wet, ring excess water out of documents (as if you were ringing a wash cloth dry). Be certain to leave them damp. Do not ring them completely dry.

(4) Head to a trash can and break documents apart. You should be able to ACTUALLY break/pull pieces of paper apart. Rather than rip them up. They should be extremely easy to break apart. So break them apart in reasonably small pieces with same precaution you take when you rip up your private documents. Small enough so that one individual piece of pulp does not contain private information on it that could be used against you by a thief.

(Note: Due to different grains of paper out there this solution may not be affective in all instances.)