Holiday ExpectationsWritten by Rexanne Mancini
As holidays approach, I find myself wondering how I’m going to accomplish all I expect of myself. I expect to have perfect presents under tree for an astounding number of people who will be visiting from out of town, besides usual round of gifts for my children, immediate family, close friends and significant others, such as teachers, school staff, hair dresser, manicurist, etc. Added to gift buying frenzy are countless trips to grocery and food specialty stores for feasts I expect to prepare, again for countless people I am expected to entertain during these holidays. What’s one person to do when it becomes overwhelming and seems there’s never going to be enough time, resources or energy to cope? Well, I’m not sure I have answer. What I’m thinking of doing is escaping to an undisclosed location to save my sanity, health and well-being. Naturally, this isn’t an option … I hold holidays too dear and my daughters have come to expect huge fanfare on these special days. I have set up their expectations of me, just as I have set up expectations of myself that I might not be able to pull off this year due to an unstable health condition and subsequent lack of mobility I’ve been accustomed to in years past. Mostly, I just want to be able to get it all done, as I have every other year, which is no longer an option so I am left to ponder my upcoming fate with dread of not performing or of falling short. I suspect “expectations” will somehow be met, only because I couldn’t bear to let my children down during most important season for meeting expectations. And I have set myself up for all of this, gladly, willingly, never expecting anything as mundane as “ill health” to interfere with our rituals and festivities. Never mind that this health condition was caused primarily by trying to cram five weeks worth of expectations into a ten day period when I over-booked myself with work, volunteering at my children’s schools at same time I was expected to take care of many other obligations and promises to family and friends. I think lesson here is to relinquish expectations of myself and scale down to a more manageable holiday routine, like it or not.
| | Infant CircumcisionWritten by Rexanne Mancini
If circumcision were a choice I had to have made, I would have run frantically from hospital with my newborn son to protect him from procedure. His father would have chased me down, insisting his son “look like he did.” All I can say is I’m terribly relieved I didn’t have to live through that. Nor did I have to make agonizing choice of protecting my baby from pain or disrespecting my husband. It would have been a huge battle of conscience. I was spared and given daughters. The decision to circumcise an infant boy or not is, in USA and I’m assuming, most of world, still a parent’s sole responsibility. More and more doctors and pediatricians are recommending against routine circumcision. The controversy is beginning to reach epidemic proportions and will soon be a major issue facing new parents. I feel very sorry for those parents. They will be bombarded with opinions at every turn and surely go though hell with it, unless they have settled this issue between them before baby’s birth. Hopefully, they will agree. The problem I foresee is parents not agreeing on circumcision, creating a stressful situation where there should be only joy. Cultural tradition and religious practices notwithstanding, there is no longer a medical or rational reason to circumcise a child other than for purely “cosmetic” reasons. Circumcision is a very painful procedure, performed on a completely innocent and unsuspecting baby. This procedure rattles me to point that I have refused to attend Bris of more than one friend’s baby son. (A Bris is a Jewish ceremony whereby a Rabbi circumcises an infant boy ... with a lot of witnesses.) Please understand, I have absolutely nothing against Jewish faith. I have nothing against any faith, even if I do not agree with their beliefs or practices. I DO, however, have something against anyone who inflicts pain on an innocent child. This would include some cultures that also routinely circumcise adolescent girls. If we agree that this is a barbaric ceremony, can we then apply some of that sensibility to infant boys? Sure, male circumcision does not alter a boy sexually but it does cause considerable pain to our babies without any apparent benefit to child. The issue of cleanliness is no longer a factor. In modern society, frequent bathing is as common as brushing one’s hair.
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