Hippo Rage - a humorous look at stress and anger today

Written by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy


(text of a mini-keynote speech by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy, which brought downrepparttar house in Gatineau, Quebec, April 21, 2002)

Has anybody here ever been stuck in traffic for a frustratingly long time? Put up your hand if you have.

Oooh! Donít you just hate that? And some people donít mind showing us how much they hate it. We call it road rage.

Has anybody ever waited in a ticket lineup or a checkout lineup for a frustratingly long time? Let me see those hands.

Believe it or not, some people donít like that either. We call it lineup rage.

Has anybody ever been stuck waiting in a doctorís office for a frustratingly long time? Let me see those hands.

And then you see somebody suddenly jump up and tear his hair out and scream, ďLet me out. Iíve been here three hours. Three days. Three months!Ē Well, I really should appologize. I didnít mean to scare your kids. I was just demonstrating waiting room rage.

Let me tell you a story aboutrepparttar 118290 Lwungwa River Valley Ė thatís in Africa, you know. The dry season there gets very dry. My throat is getting dry just thinking about it. The Lwangwa River stops rushing. It slows to a trickle. Finally, it stops flowing. And all that are left are pools of water, here and there.

One by one,repparttar 118291 animals head to higher ground. To forest cover. To other water holes. Anywhere they can find food or drink. Just like we will all do late. Did I say allrepparttar 118292 animals? Not all. Notrepparttar 118293 hippos.

The hippos stay in their river at it slows to a stream. They stay inrepparttar 118294 stream as it turns into pools. They stay inrepparttar 118295 pools as they shrink into puddles. Asrepparttar 118296 puddles shrink,repparttar 118297 hippos get more crowded. Asrepparttar 118298 hippos get more crowded, they get surly. Cranky. Grumpy. They gnash their teeth. They poke at each other. They pick fights. Itís river rage!

Has anyone ever come face to face with a raging hippopotamus? Donít be shy. Go ahead, put up your hands. Sure, when weíre young Ė Iím sure you all remember this as I do Ė weíre taught that theyíre slow, cute, and cuddly. They might even be pink or purple and do those dances in tutus like in Fabntasia. But inrepparttar 118299 real world they have teethrepparttar 118300 size of your head. They can run faster than anyone in this room. And they weight upwards of 5,000 pounds. I mean, they are BIG! If youíre ever at a cocktail party and a hippopotamus starts, you know, flirting with you, whatever you do, do not let him sit on your lap.

Dumb Criminal Reports

Written by Frank S Garcia




Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
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