Have PC-Will Crash

Written by Tim Ward

This isn'trepparttar article that I was planning to write today. I had a totally different article in mind. Truthfullyrepparttar 118282 article I was going to write was a whole lot funnier than this one. In fact I had already started typingrepparttar 118283 other, much funnier, article on my PC and if all had gone well you would be reading that article instead of this one. But unfortunately for you, as always happens right when I'm in repparttar 118284 middle of something very important, my PC crashed.

Actually, I don't thinkrepparttar 118285 term crash correctly defines what happened with my PC. With a crash there is usually some kind of warning. Take a plane crash for instance. Before repparttar 118286 plane crashes you may see any or all ofrepparttar 118287 following:

* thick black smoke pouring out of one or more engines

* large chunks of aircraft whizzing past your window

* pilots and flight attendants desperately strapping on parachutes

* oxygen masks dropping fromrepparttar 118288 ceilings, injuring taller passengers

*repparttar 118289 ground

Evenrepparttar 118290 stock market has signs that it is about to crash. However I don't know what they are so you'll have to take my word on that one. I once tried to get intorepparttar 118291 whole stock market thing but every broker I called thought that my only having $20 to invest was 'a problem'. That's when I discovered stock market games. You can enjoy allrepparttar 118292 ups and downs of investing without having to deal withrepparttar 118293 hassle of actually making money and getting rich.

My point is that in almost every other form of 'crash' there are warning signs. But there are NO warning signs whatsoever before a PC crashes. You'll just be sitting there surfingrepparttar 118294 Net, or typing up something in Microsoft Word, or trying to figure out how restore all those pictures of Drew Barrymoore that you downloaded that your girlfriend claims she 'accidentally' deleted, and all of a sudden !CRASH! your whole screen goes blank.

Actually your doing good if you get a blank screen. The Blank Screen Crash can usually be fixed by shutting off and restarting your computer. The Blank Screen Crash is nothing compared to repparttar 118295 Exception Error 294888389KKVGFGJ Crash orrepparttar 118296 Illegal Operation 8099094##$$GJHhhjj Crash. These crashes arerepparttar 118297 ones that remain even after you have restarted your computer. You'll shut down your computer, restart it, sit through Scandisk's (or SlothDisk as I call it) 15 minute ritual, get back torepparttar 118298 Windows Desktop and !CRASH! there it is again, Exception Error 294888389KKVGFGJ, Exception Error 294888389KKVGFGJ, Exception Error 294888389KKVGFGJ.

Front Porch Chat

Written by Shellie Rushing Tomlinson

Hello porchers! I've been watching for y'all. Have a seat, and let's chat. So, tell me, are you working on those New Years' resolutions? Uh-huh, call me Miss Cleo, but I bet losing weight topsrepparttar list, right? My powers also tell me you're gonna need some cash, that fat-free food's expensive. But don't worry, I'm here to help.~smile~

Have you heard? Folks are suing McDonald's for making them fat! Yep,repparttar 118281 same folks who pay good money to super-size have become super-sized and--get this--they're surprised and angry. Although, it hasn't gone to trial, I'm hearing thatrepparttar 118282 plaintiffs have a good chance at winning and if they set a precedent, I think I have a good case against Zaps Potato Chips. For a small fee, you can join my lawsuit. Surely, you know about Zaps CrawTaters, Jalapeno Chips and Dill Pickle Chips--if not, run torepparttar 118283 store and load up. You can thank me later.

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