HOW TO HANDLE LIFE'S PROBLEMS Written by Craig Lock
We hope that following article (a short extract from one of my first manuscripts, HOW TO CONQUER STRESS AND NERVOUS TENSION may be informative and helpful to your ezine readers, or on your web site. (There are some amendments to this previously published piece, so replace, if you wish). You have permission to publish (formatted to 60 characters, approx) electronically or in print. If my article helps out others in any way, then I'm very happy.
HOW TO HANDLE LIFE'S PROBLEMS (BUSINESS AND PERSONAL)
by Craig Lock
Try to enrich your life at all times. Your life is a gift - so enjoy it to absolute fullest. But when things are going well (or so we think), suddenly things go radically wrong and our whole lives get turned upside down.
Why is it that certain people have fewer problems and are less ill than others. They are happier people; because their OUTLOOK ON LIFE is different. I think so. They seem to have a power and control over their own lives. Something I don't seem to have at moment - enough negative thoughts, Craig!
The mind influences how we feel, how our body reacts to certain events and chiefly how successful we are in work and play. Therefore, it is a very strong force in our lives. When we first encounter adversity or severe trauma, it is our mind which has to cope with unexpected. We first feel an intense shock, then there is disbelief, an overwhelming numbness, disorientation, consuming pain, panic...and finally exhaustion. These are very real responses for you in a major life crisis, which are difficult for others to understand. These reactions can vary in intensity and duration, depending on your personality make-up. Are you highly strung and an intense and sensitive "little soul", like me? The power of mind is exemplified with placebos (nice word, that!). An ineffectual glass of water or a pill WILL make you feel better, when you believe it has medicinal properties and CAN help you (this is known as a placebo). They can also relax you more, help you to feel less anxious, fearful and enable you to sleep better. People with cancer can outlive predictions of medical fraternity, when they have faith and BELIEVE they will get better. On other hand, on diagnosis of cancer some patient's conditions deteriorate drastically. They have now lost hope of ever getting better. It really is all in mind (our health and everything that happens to us) and depends on our ATTITUDE to life. A positive attitude helps greatly in health and in happiness. If we rather see hardship as a challenge, it will greatly help us to pull through. That's what keeps me going here! I believe that people with strong minds can even postpone death. However, what normally happens in our daily lives? We usually tend to make excuses and find scapegoats for our condition, our "poor" situations. However, I definitely believe obstacles do not have to be insurmountable roadblocks on pathway to achievement, success or happiness - because mind is a very powerful tool. If used properly, it can be a very strong positive force in our lives.
It's Not About BananasWritten by Helaine Iris
Itís Not About Bananas ©2002 Helaine Iris
I can't believe I'm telling you this.
The other day, my husband came through door with a bag of groceries. Bananas in particular. " Honey," I asked, "why didnít you ask ME if we needed anything?" I was secretly annoyed because I'd been planning a trip to grocery store myself.
He responded by telling me we were nearly out of bananas, which are an important part of his daily health drink. With my increasingly busy schedule, he decided to take responsibility for his own banana needs. Simple enough, right?
Wrong. I got upset. I began to argue that he was insensitive by not thinking of needs of household. He reacted and told me I was not tuned into his need for bananas. The classic marital argument ensued and spiraled downward very quickly. There we were facing off in kitchen. Tears in my eyes, him exasperated and both ready to walk away and write whole thing off. Just then, something amazing happened. My husband said, "This isnít about bananas!"
In that moment something profound took place. As if by grace, I stopped my train of thought. I took a deep breath. I became aware that I had two choices. I could hold my ground because I wanted to be right and prove myself good wife. Or I could take an honest look inside myself. I could look to see what was really going on. Gazing into eyes of man I love, I realized what was driving me. It was need to be right. I thought I had something to loose if I was wrong.
I created a whole story about what his buying bananas meant. Not only did I make several assumptions, but I took his actions personally as well. When I made assumptions I got locked into fear-based thoughts instead of seeking facts. When I took things personally I saw only my needs and lost touch with a bigger reality.
This banana story, which now seems funny, taught me a powerful lesson. It showed me what happens when my actions are based on assumptions instead of facts. It showed me what happens when I take my partners actions personally and react to them.