HOLD EM OR FOLD EM?Written by Linda Reeves
Like a great game of poker, knowing when to “Hold Em” and when to “Fold Em” is a great phenomenon to some of us. Our lives and loves are much like a game of poker, you start out with a full pot and slowly over time rewards either multiply or diminish. The choice to “Hold Em” or “Fold Em” is a choice that cannot be made without analyzing long term effects.
Granted, love is not a game of poker, but relationships, like any game of chance is a risk, if you don’t initially take risk/chance you will have missed out on some of greatest feelings and experiences of your life. The course of a relationship is pretty standard to everyone; when you first meet, you experience euphoria and excitement of unknown, moving into friendship mode discovering this persons inner being and everything that made them who they are today. Onward we move to intimate realm of our being, sharing everything about and of ourselves. Exposing our fantasies and deepest desires leaving our hearts totally vulnerable. This exposure is not without its rewards, it draws us closer together and reveals great insight into life with this person. However, we must be acutely aware of this persons ideals and goals in life and how they relate to our own. What are you willing to compromise, forfeit or share to create a loving lasting relationship? Things to think about…….
Like a high stakes poker game, you have a lot to lose, maybe not materially, but emotionally there is a great price to pay if you lose game. Knowing how to spot obvious and take action will protect your heart. Granted, we never want to admit or believe that someone could love us today and not want to be with us anymore tomorrow, but it happens everyday all over world to millions of people. Keep your eyes open, are they spending less time with you, are calls less frequent, do they seem too busy do something else all time, have emails stopped, spending more time with their friends than you. These are signs …..read them! There could be an explanation for their behavior, don’t jump to conclusions, take time to talk to them, find out what they are thinking, feeling and discern if it is time to “Hold Em” or “Fold Em”. If it is time to “fold”, do it
Examining Your Own Attitudes About AgeWritten by Virginia Bola, PsyD
A common complaint of mature is that, in American society, there is far too much focus on youth. We collectively spend a fortune on attempting to look younger and fighting natural results of gravity, sun exposure, and poisons that have seeped into our bodies through years of unhealthy eating, drinking, smoking, lack of exercise, and self-neglect.
"Getting old is pits" we are wont to mumble as we get up slowly from floor, recalling how we used to spring upright without a second thought. We feel more secure in lower heels and often forget principles of good posture, our shoulders rounding forward into an aging stoop.
We walk past a shop window and are shocked by figure we see: "That can't be me. It's my mother (father)!"
We can fight biological ravages of aging only so far. Depending upon our budget, we can buy anti-aging creams, vitamins, cover-ups, special makeup, have HGH injections at a few thousand dollars a shot, or a complete makeover by an exclusive (and expensive) plastic surgeon. Some of us, despite desire for eternal youth, settle into our senior years overweight, wrinkled, stooped over, but content.
If we have limits on what we can do to look physically young, we have an unlimited ability to think young. If we progress into maturity with a positive attitude about aging, we can make sure that we are as productive, attractive, and youthful as our bodies allow. No, we will not have taut unlined skin of our teens and twenties, nor athletic energy we recall so fondly, but we will maintain our self-respect, our pride, and a vital sense of our own value.
How many of following negative attitudes have you already unconsciously adopted?
1. "Getting older means I can't be active anymore."
In a limited sense this is true. If you performed heavy labor as a youth, it is unlikely that you now want to lift hundreds of pounds throughout day. If you stood on your feet waiting tables or in retail, your feet and legs will warn you to cut back. However, with additional free time you gain as children leave home and you look forward to, or move into, retirement, you have opportunity to expand your activities which was impossible when you were over-committed to work and family needs. Daily walking will keep your joints lubricated, your cardiovascular system healthy, and your mood upbeat. Buy a pedometer and gradually increase distance you walk. Practice good posture by walking tall as if there were a string in your head pulling you up, up, up. Check out your community for swimming classes, tennis lessons, tai chi, or yoga. All will leave you feeling younger, more vibrant, with little chance of injury. If you have long participated in vigorous physical activity, such as jogging, aerobics, softball, or racquetball - keep doing it. There is no reason to cut back on activities you enjoy until they become absolutely medically contraindicated, if ever.
2. "I get a headache when I have to read something technical or try to figure out my computer. I just don't concentrate as well as I used to."