Most people long for or have an image of a true love that they nourish or search for all their life. Depending on
level of consciousness, true love can mean something completely different for different people.
On level of physical well-being, love is satisfaction of vital sensual needs and expression of bodily pleasure and vitality on base of an intimate relationship.
If there is a distortion on that level, sexual love turns into sex addiction or sexual dependency. In such a case you see other as an object of your satisfaction. In sex addiction you satisfy your need for bodily stimulation, in sexual dependency your need for affection.
On level of personal well-being you care for what is best for you and what makes your life fulfilled. The task on this level is to acknowledge and truly love yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.
If you do not know or appreciate your own value, you make yourself dependent on appreciation and love of others. You need others to fill yourself not on sexual level as before but on emotional-mental realm. You demand appreciation, identity and self-confidence. You enter relationship as somebody who needs love rather than somebody who is willing to give love.
On interpersonal level, you look for somebody, who compliments you, stabilises your self worth and satisfies your needs. According to law of attraction you fall in love with somebody, who looks for same.
The dilemma is that two dependent people who are attracted to each other for satisfaction of their dependency needs are not in position to fulfil each other’s wants. They cling to each other like two burrs, without being able to give each other nourishment of true love that each one longs for. The frustration of lacking fulfilment leads to anger and hate.
Some spend their whole life playing this game of love and hate. Others separate and look for a better substitute. Usually exchange ends in same drama, if you refuse to unfold your potential.
If you on personal level have found to yourself and you know your value, you also recognise and acknowledge it in others. When you are satisfied with yourself you don’t request other person to change for your own sake.
On contrary: You will support him/her to unfold his or her potential. You stand back, if necessary, or you stand at his/her side. You share your strengths and weaknesses, allow yourself to be vulnerable and in that way deepen intimacy of partnership.
The "yes" to other person is a necessity to provide safety to master a crisis together. The relationship is an instrument of growing together, and growth means an imbalance in time. This imbalance however does not endanger relationship, but releases potential for creative solutions.
