Got To, Get To – Change The Way Your Family ThinksWritten by Lindsay Small
I recently heard a story that has literally changed way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her own company and was massively successful in business. Yet every single day, at 10am, she visited her elderly mother, who was in an old peoples’ home. When asked if she could attend meetings at that time, she would reply, “I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”. She sometimes resented commitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but nevertheless answered, “No, I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother.” One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked if she could make a meeting at 10am following day. She started to reply, “No, I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”, but of course quickly realised that this was no longer case. Sadly, she realised that for many years she had been saying, “I’ve got to visit my mother” when what she should have instead been saying was, “I get to visit my mother”. She would never "get to" visit her mother again. So how does story relate to other situations? I have been surprised by how many times story has seemed appropriate since I heard it, just a few weeks ago. It applies to so many different aspects of family and working life, from large to mundane. For example, I first told my son story when he was complaining about some extra French classes he was having at weekends (“I can’t believe I’ve got to go to French tutor”). I explained that he is lucky to "get to" have French classes: lucky that we care enough to notice he needs them, and lucky that we can afford to pay for them.
| | Got To, Get To – Change The Way Your Family ThinksWritten by Lindsay Small
I recently heard a story that has literally changed way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her own company and was massively successful in business. Yet every single day, at 10am, she visited her elderly mother, who was in an old peoples’ home. When asked if she could attend meetings at that time, she would reply, “I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”. She sometimes resented commitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but nevertheless answered, “No, I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother.” One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked if she could make a meeting at 10am following day. She started to reply, “No, I’m sorry, I’ve got to visit my mother”, but of course quickly realised that this was no longer case. Sadly, she realised that for many years she had been saying, “I’ve got to visit my mother” when what she should have instead been saying was, “I get to visit my mother”. She would never "get to" visit her mother again. So how does story relate to other situations? I have been surprised by how many times story has seemed appropriate since I heard it, just a few weeks ago. It applies to so many different aspects of family and working life, from large to mundane. For example, I first told my son story when he was complaining about some extra French classes he was having at weekends (“I can’t believe I’ve got to go to French tutor”). I explained that he is lucky to "get to" have French classes: lucky that we care enough to notice he needs them, and lucky that we can afford to pay for them.
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