Got "Have-Tos"?Written by Kathy Gates
Ever had an attack of "have-tos"? "Have-tos" are an interesting phenomenon. They come in several variations like haveta, gotta, needto.also sometimes referred to as "hate-tos".
These "havetos" seem to invade our daily life. First, try listening to others to notice how often they say this. Then listen to yourself as well. I think you'll be surprised.
The connotation of "haveto" makes me tired just to say it. It implies that I'm doing something I don't want to do. It implies that I'm being pressured by external sources, instead of inspired and motivated internally. It implies that I might push back. It implies that I will procrastinate. It implies that I won't be happy while I'm doing it.
But "havetos" are not necessarily bad things that we make them out to be. "Havetos" can be your friends, if you are using them in a way that works FOR you instead of against you.
"Havetos" relate to what you want in your life. I got up from my computer this morning, and mumbled "I have to go water flowers." Now that's not exactly truth. I do have options: 1. Let them die. 2. Install an automatic watering system. 3. Pay someone else to do it for me. 4. Delegate job to someone else in household. 5. Don't plant flowers in first place.
My point is that IF I want flowers, I may "have to" water them, but that is part of bigger picture. It's not a do or die situation. It's my choice.
You might say "I have to go buy groceries", or "I have to take out trash", or "I have to brush my teeth". Those may not be things that are enjoyable to you, but you don't really HAVE to do any of them. You may alienate members of your family, coworkers, or friends if you don't do them. But then.that's bigger picture, isn't it? The "haveto" is a direct reflection of what you want.
THE PETALS THAT FALL Written by Arleen M. Kaptur
A flower bud offers so much hope and expectation for potentially beautiful bloom that is to follow. We watch it gently open its petals and bask in warm sunshine of day. The fragrance fills air with aroma of life and even night hours cannot fade its brilliant color and delicate details. But one day petals begin to fall one by one onto ground. Our flower begins to fade in beauty but a miracle lies within. There deep inside in very plant that brought it to fulfillment, there lies future growth and possibility for following year and more breath-taking delight in new growing seasons.
Well, life is so much like this flower. Babies and children truly delight us with their fresh newness and comical antics. As they search to know world around them, they can sometimes mess up ours. They spill, fall, fight, and grow. Our eyes deceive us as we don’t notice evolving adult in that beautiful child. Our ears close to their endless chatter, and our feet get weary of following them and insuring their safety. Before long, and without any notice, they are young adults and capable of making decisions and following their own dreams.
We are adults for a longer time in our lives than we are children. How many times we long for those carefree days of letting each day bring on fun, joy, and total abandonment to whatever comes our way. As adults, we plan, schedule, and keep “to do” lists. We keep world in motion and we clear a path for future generations. Adults create products and innovations to make life easier, and more fulfilling. Bridges bring people and nations together, and bricks build homes and families. Cultures teach us to tolerate differences and history shows us what to avoid. Then, without any warning, we reach our golden years. Retirement from our jobs is as close as a heartbeat and we relinquish heavy reins of industry and business to next generation of adults. It becomes our time to bask in our achievements or to remember, smile, and relish memories. Whether our thoughts bring good times or bad, they all had a hand in forming life we have and thoughts we possess.
As senior citizens, our eyes may not be as bright as a child’s, but they still carry a vision. Our hands are not smooth and delicate, story of labor and hardship is etched in them forever. However, our words can still delight and bring joy to youngest of young and to current adult world. We have memories, successes and failures to relate. Our stories give insight into what was and what can be. Each day still has its challenges but also its rewards. The hours can be filled with what we enjoy, or they can be wiled away while we wait for inevitable. Life goes on whether we like it or not. To choose not to enjoy what it has in store will just crimp our ability to continue growing and achieving self-satisfaction and self-esteem. We are who we are and that is what we have to work with. We can sit back or we can reach up. The choice all through life is ours and so are rewards and consequences.