Good, Good, Good, Good IntentionsMayaWritten by Maya Talisman Frost
I always do a lot of thinking about good intentions in December. It's not because I'm inspired by holidays. I'm simply observing anniversary of Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Each year, around December 10th, I reread that incredible document just to remind myself that as humans, we can all agree on what it means to have basic rights and to be treated fairly. It's an inspiring piece of writing, and it fills my heart with hope--that is, until I remember that we don't seem to be making much progress on goals we set for ourselves 55 years ago. From time we're very young, we learn that there is a difference between what we mean to do and what actually happens. After a scuffle, your mother asked, "Did you do it on purpose or by accident?" It was sometimes okay to kick your brother in teeth as long as you didn't mean to do it--like, say, if you were reaching a toy for him on top shelf and stepped back wildly on your way down. You were trying to help, you caused pain accidentally, you felt bad about it, so it was excused. Now that we're adults, are our accidents excused? Do good intentions serve as a sort of "Get out of jail free" card? Not exactly. Democritus, Greek philosopher and physicist, said: "My enemy is not man who wrongs me, but man who means to wrong me." Tell that to mother of a child killed by a drunk driver. Bad things happen, even when they are completely unintentional and repulsive to perpetrators. Negligent homicide isn't intentional, but results are same as if guilty party carefully planned and carried out his attack. If we watch news, we see all kinds of examples of good intentions that go terribly wrong. Whether we're talking about results of a new Walmart or a new war, we can't always get what we want, but if we try real hard, we just might find--we screw things up royally. (apologies to Rolling Stones) The latest brain research tells us that it's possible to make things happen by simply having a clear intention. As long as we look in mirror every day and repeat, "I will become a millionaire and benefactress, feeding poor with my great wealth", then eventually we'll be writing those fat checks to local food bank. Unfortunately, those mirror musings don't always focus on good intentions behind goal. Given option of manifesting our destiny, we tend to go with our top choice. The millionaire thing wins out--we can't open door number two (becoming a benefactress) without opening door number one first. Consequently, we end up with a whole lot of people repeating millionaire mantra every day, and real intention--giving generously--gets lost in shuffle.
| | Envisioning Your Ideal "Self"Written by Kimberly Fulcher
Envisioning Your Ideal Self
In my work as a professional coach, I've had opportunity to interact with hundreds of individuals. I've found that people who are successful and fulfilled share common characteristics.
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They believe their success has very little to do with what they have, and everything to do who they are. -
They hold an ideal about kind of person they want to be. -
They're willing to step into that vision, and hold themselves accountable to high behavioral standards. The quality of your life is predicated by manner in which you participate in it. Your participation is based on who you believe you are. Unquestionably, you have beliefs about who you are, even if you've never consciously considered them. Today, I challenge you to examine and expand on these beliefs. I challenge you to develop not only an understanding of person you are today, but a solid vision of person you dream of becoming.
Your Ideal Self
To create an ideal reality, you must develop a vision, which is an idea about how you'd like future to be. It's a clear picture of what you'd like to create, and can be a source of motivation, supporting you through challenges involved in making your dreams come true.
An ideal is a principle or standard worth trying to achieve. Your ideal self is person that you've always imagined being, and encompasses all power, strength, and integrity, you've aspired to. This ideal invokes a sense of confidence, pride, and serenity, and is you, at your best.
There are three steps involved in defining this amazing person. First, you must connect with qualities or character traits that guide her behavior.. Once you've defined these individual characteristics, you need to identify behavioral standards that she holds herself to. Finally, you must decide that you are going to show up in your life acting "as if" you are already this person. Let's move through each step.
Your Character Traits
All of us possess positive and negative characteristics. It's important to identify all of your personal characteristics as you develop your vision of person that you're committed to being. Make a list of positive traits you'd like to incorporate in your ideal vision, and negative tendencies you'd like to manage. In my work with clients, I've found following approaches helpful in defining these qualities.
Other People's Traits
The qualities we notice in others have meaning. Both qualities you admire and dislike have stories to tell. The qualities we most respond to in another, whether positive or negative, are qualities we possess, but have yet to recognize in ourselves.
If you find yourself responding to a person you recognize as outgoing, positive, and energetic, these may be qualities you possess, but have not fully
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