Yes, it's true; yours truly enjoyed warmth of sun and cider tent on both occasions whilst at Glastonbury.

For purpose of what I have to say here, I am going to concentrate on just one specific event that happened whilst I was there. I was in my early 20s, it was Saturday of festival and everything was just hunky dory … no, totally, it was so hunky dory as to warrant my starting a new religion, so I went back to cider tent to calm down.

I imbibed several more pints of diesel, earthed myself, and as sun began its descent, I smacked my chops, thanked staff and wandered over to main stage for what promised to be an enjoyable evening.

Yes, The Orb were playing, and their oft heard song Little Fluffy Clouds was sure to be a lovely ending to a quite lovely day.

So I trundled over to said main stage, colours of sunset now taking shape and positioned myself so as to get a good view of stage.

Sure, two blokes and a load of synthesisers isn't most spectacular stage show, but, well, I felt sure they'd put on a good light show to make up for lack of stage presence.

I was pretty early, I don't think they were due on 'til about half nine or something, and in meantime, a bloke beside me nudged me, and when I looked round, he pointed behind me. He was grinning. I turned round to see what he was on about, and there, in adjacent field, a firework display was just starting off. I smiled, thanked him, and got into display.

It was a good one; it warranted me getting my pipe out of my back pocket, stoking it with draw and cranking my brain. Whoosh! That did trick. The display was quite beautiful and I gave it my undivided attention, rockets and their explosions every bit as important as my close shave with new religion I mentioned earlier.

Those people who defend intrusive presence of a television in private homes always seem to cite "educational value" as its redeeming grace.

They mention documentaries they watch all time...which explains why The Feeding Habits of Gray-haired Stork broke all Nielsen ratings records last month.

They mention news programs they watch nightly...which explains why they have "intellectual" discussions about chimp who drove a little car at charity circus last week.

They mention all arts programs, such as symphony orchestra that played them to sleep last night.

Amazingly, they do not mention latest phenomenon -- "reality TV". What is so real about reality TV? Put 20 people on an island and tell them to live off land as if they were all on their own. Yeah, like that's real!

But wait, there's more. Make them vote somebody off island each day, so that there are fewer people to help community survive. Brilliant survival strategy.

Or set them up in teams to play "survival games". That will leave them a lot of energy for survival. I'll bet tigers and hyenas and alligators salivate to see so much fresh meet wasting so much energy on such trivial activities. They could not have come up with a better meat-farming plan if they tried.

To make it even more real, all participants are brought in front of camera to comment on each other and deliver a psychological assessment of their experiences. Lights. Camera. Psychology. That's real.

I suppose we would not want a reality TV show that was TOO real. Imagine turning on TV and seeing real life.

"Hey, honey. Check out what's on TV."

"What is it, dear."

"Somebody washing dishes."

"What, again?"

"Yes."

"Go on."

"Don't they ever wash their clothes?"

"NO, just dishes."

"Well sooner or later they'll have to wash their clothes. What does TV guide say?"