Have you ever had a fight over nothing? Seems like a dumb question, doesn’t it? It just doesn’t make sense. But if you’re dating, or know someone who is, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You say: ‘What’s matter?’
They say: ‘Nothing.’
You say: ‘Are you sure?’
They say: ‘It’s nothing.’
You say: ‘It’s obviously something. You look upset.’
They say: ‘You’re an (expletive).’
You say: ‘Huh?’
And so it begins. She calls him names. He brings up something from 3 weeks ago. The ex boyfriend comes up. He says something he really doesn’t mean. You can end up arguing about this for another half hour, just to find out that she had a crappy commute this morning, or that he doesn’t think you spend enough time together. In end, you’re drained, exhausted, and can’t believe you just used up all that energy. Your heart is racing. That vein in your forehead is throbbing. You want some water. You feel like you just ran a marathon.
You just had a relationship workout.
As much as your delts, biceps or quads, you’ve gotta exercise your relationship every once in a while. Give it a little stretch. Unfortunately, most people overlook easiest way to put energy into their relationship and feel exhausted at end – rolling around on floor, making sweet monkey love to one another. No, they seem to prefer often-pointless yelling matches about whose turn it is to wash dishes, or why socks are in middle of living room floor. And in an ironic twist, it’s most likely to happen when one or both of you is at your most tired.
A tried-and-true relationship workout is getting caught in a lie. Because we all know, most people won’t just admit that they lied. They’ll talk in circles. They’ll make up excuses. Or worse, they’ll make up MORE lies. If you’re dealing with a professional, this can go on for days. For liar, this works mouth muscles, and agility, because they have to do a lot of fancy footwork. For party being lied to, workout is focused on belly and jaw, where they’re keeping their mouth shut and squeezing their abdominals to keep from laughing at your outrageous story.
Another example? The ever-popular ‘I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s matter. You should already know.’ Now we all know this means you’re in trouble. And even bigger trouble because you don’t even know what you did wrong. At this point, asking other party to tell you what you did wrong is roughly equivalent of tearing off a scab size of a Buick. It’s only going to serve to piss them off even more. But what do you do? You see, this part of workout is just a warm-up. You’ve got to use up a lot of energy just to find out what you’ll be arguing about. So pace yourself. It’s a most challenging set.