It's not hard to find criticism. It's all around us--in way media says our bodies should be perfect. In people judging how we live, because they feel insecure about themselves. And of course, perhaps most powerfully, are all negative messages we were taught and given as children, critical messages that we still play through our minds.

So how do we turn tide on this wave of negative messages? An important factor is purposely looking for and including positive messages in your life, on a regular basis. You deserve to see your own beauty--and to be as happy as you can be.

Give yourself gift of loving, positive messages:

* Recognize and acknowledge some good things about yourself. Write out a list of things that you like about yourself, or that other people have told you they like about you. Write as many as you can. Then go through each one. Think about it. Acknowledge it. Accept it and take it in. Putting your energy into this, and really opening yourself up to this, can help you heal some old hurts, and work towards opening yourself up to more positive messages.

* Praise yourself as you would a child. Kids need praise and positive feedback to feel good about themselves, and we give that freely to kids. Well, adults need it, too. So whenever you do something that you would appreciate or like in a child...being kind to someone else, being tender, standing up for yourself or someone else, doing something that feels good, accomplishing something big or small...then give yourself some praise. Don't be stingy with praise. Lavish it on you way you would a child. Acknowledge wonderfulness in you, and make a habit of it. It really will help you feel better.

* Allow real compliments and praise to sink in there. Allowing compliments and praise to really touch you, including ones you give yourself, is something you may have to consciously do, but it's important to do. If you have trouble keeping hold of good things people say, write them down, then look at them often.

* Read affirmations that appeal to you. Read some affirmations from a book, online, or from affirmation cards, or write your own. Just read ones that feel like they fit you, that have messages you need to hear. Do this often, so you open up to messages.

* Associate an object with a positive message about you. Pick an object, preferably a small one, one that you like or that makes you feel good--maybe a stone, a book, a note, a little toy that you can carry around with you. Now think of a positive message about yourself--just one--and repeat it over and over while you look at object. Tell yourself that whenever you look at that object, you'll be reminded of that positive message about yourself.

You don’t really hear word “assertive” that much anymore, although it was a real catchphrase in 80’s and 90’s. I have written many things in past few years on this subject, but I always called it “personal power”. Turns out, these two subjects are virtually interchangeable. When you become assertive in a healthy way it is taking back your personal power. Being assertive in a healthy way requires boundaries. It is a: “I will go just this far but no farther” sort of thing.

Boundaries are very personal. Where one person needs a boundary may be much too close for one person, or much too far away for another. Ever within one individual, what is a boundary in one situation is often neglected in another.

And, I also discovered that boundaries are very flexible things! I personally am quite good at holding my boundaries with my husband, yet I am not as good with them when it concerns my son. And yet my son is one who stomps all over my boundaries without a thought while my husband is respectful of them.

Point being, it is a lot easier to hold to your boundaries with someone who respects them, but when faced with opposition on an emotional level, boundaries are a lot harder to hold.