I regularly work with clients on making major life changes in line with a new definition of personal success. There are many methods we use in this process: identifying values, removing distractions, getting in touch with their inner wisdom, creating a powerful vision, knowing their energy limits, etc. However, one of most important methods is often overlooked -- getting what they need by asking for help when they need it.

Taking time to seek help can be a real boost to your productivity when going through change. It is very easy to waste a lot of time going in circles trying to re-invent wheel without even realizing we are doing it. At first, it can feel more efficient to do things by ourselves. But when situation is too big for us, this approach can eat up a huge chunk of our time. Quick and easy sources of help are sometimes just a phone call away or a simple email to a trusted source.

Isn't it funny, though, how asking for help is often our last resort? It usually occurs at end of problem solving process -- when we are frustrated and feel as if we have hit a dead end. Instead, I would suggest starting any challenge by asking, "do I need help with this?"

Many of us are so used to being helpers to others that thought doesn't occur to us to reverse roles and seek help for ourselves.

Why not consider all of available resources?

1. Know outcome you want. Do you want a win-win outcome where both you and your boss benefit? Or a win-lose outcome where your boss is not happy with result?

It is important you know what type of outcome you want because that will affect long term relationship you have with other party. Win-win outcomes are beneficial where you have an ongoing relationship. For example, when you negotiate a pay rise, you don't want your boss to feel he/she is 'loser'. However, if you are buying a car from a car lot, you may not be so concerned about whether car salesperson feels as though they 'won' in negotiation!

2. Know your 'position'. How important is this job to you? How much do you need it? Could you walk away from job? What alternatives do you have? What is your "bottom line" and what (if anything) are you prepared to concede? You should not start negotiating a pay rise until you have thought through and considered all of consequences for all of different outcomes that may eventuate.

Warning: never say something you are not prepared to carry through. Generally, employers do not respond well to threats, so do not say you will leave job unless you fully intend to….they just may take you up on offer!

3. Work out different scenarios ahead of time. Being caught by surprise will NOT strengthen your request! Think through all different possibilities, which may eventuate and plan for each and every one of them. It is useful to brainstorm and write down on a piece of paper what could possibly happen. For example, if your boss said, "XYZ" - I would respond with, "ABC". This way you can be prepared for just about anything that may happen.