"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." --Jim RohnWhen I get calls from prospective clients who say they want to get organized, I often ask, "What's motivating you to get organized at this time, and what will be possible once you get organized?" I ask these questions because I've found that without a compelling reason, there's little or no motivation to change
habits necessary for lasting results.
My first year in business, I got a call from a woman (I'll call her Kelly) who said that her husband wanted her to get organized. As I walked through their home with her, Kelly told me what her husband wanted me to do. Among other things, he did not like clutter scattered throughout house -- stacks of unopened mail, piles of newspapers and magazines, unfolded laundry, and dirty dishes. After listening for a while, I asked, "Who owns problem here?" With a bewildered look on her face, Kelly responded by telling me that her husband wanted her to "clean things up."
Although Kelly was one who was primarily responsible for creating clutter, and she was one who was asked to do something about it, I came to conclusion that Kelly's husband was one who owned problem. Why? Because he was one who did not like clutter, and she was perfectly content with way things were. She was not least bit motivated to change any of her personal habits that created clutter in first place.
Under circumstances, I decided not to take Kelly on as a client. Although working with this client could have generated a significant number of paid consulting hours -- as well as fostered a dependency on my ongoing services to keep things organized -- I would have felt out of integrity to work with Kelly when she was not ready to commit to process. Without her readiness to take ownership of problem, my working with her would not have helped in long run. Had she and I de-cluttered and organized their home, I'm convinced it would have reverted back to its original state in a matter of weeks.
Who Owns Problem?
I'll share a story to illustrate what I mean when I ask "who owns problem." When our daughter was about four years old, I was one who took her to day care on my way to work. Every morning I'd ask her to get dressed and be ready to leave house by a certain time, and I'd give her a 10-minute and a 5-minute warning. And every morning when it was time to go she would not be dressed. My husband and I were taking a parenting class at time, and I mentioned problem in class one night. The instructor asked, "Who owns problem here?" I said, "I do, because I am late for work." He asked me why I was late for work, and I repeated that I was late because our daughter would not get dressed on time. The instructor asked what would happen if I let her own problem.
The next morning when it was time to leave house and our daughter was not dressed, I put her in car in her underwear, strapped her seatbelt on, and put her clothes in a bag on seat next to her. It was January and it was cold in car! Guess what? By time we got to day care she was completely dressed (and with her seatbelt still on)! The next day she was dressed when it was time to go, and it was never an issue again. From that day forward, she was ready when it was time to go. By allowing her to own problem, she had an investment in finding a solution. She was motivated to get dressed because she was cold and uncomfortable, and because I was no longer willing to own or solve problem for her.
Experience has taught me that when someone says they want to get organized because someone else wants them to do so, lasting results are not likely. Why? Because without that internal motivation, one is not likely to change habits necessary to stay organized. If you don't own problem, you won't have a vested interest in finding a solution. Sometimes fear, shame, or intimidation can generate temporary motivation, but it usually doesn't last.
Inside-Out Organizing
My most successful clients have been those who want to get organized because they see something on other side of their clutter and disorder -- something they desperately want. Their desire and passion for whatever it is that they want creates motivation that propels them forward and supports lasting change. Success has nothing to do with depth of piles of paper or length of time one has been disorganized; it has everything to do with having a compelling reason to get and stay organized. I call this "inside-out organizing."
