Abuse by proxy continues long after
relationship is officially over (at least as far as you are concerned). The majority of abusers get message, however belatedly and reluctantly. Others – more vindictive and obsessed – continue to haunt their ex-spouses for years to come. These are stalkers.Most stalkers are what Zona (1993) and Geberth (1992) call "Simple Obsessional" or, as Mullen and Pathe put it (1999) – "Rejected". They stalk their prey as a way of maintaining dissolved relationship (at least in their diseased minds). They seek to "punish" their quarry for refusing to collaborate in charade and for resisting their unwanted and ominous attentions.
Such stalkers come from all walks of life and cut across social, racial, gender, and cultural barriers. They usually suffer from one or more (comorbid) personality disorders. They may have anger management or emotional problems and they usually abuse drugs or alcohol. Stalkers are typically lonely, violent, and intermittently unemployed – but they are rarely full fledged criminals.
Contrary to myths perpetrated by mass media, studies show that most stalkers are men, have high IQ's, advanced degrees, and are middle aged (Meloy and Gothard, 1995; and Morrison, 2001).
Rejected stalkers are intrusive and inordinately persistent. They recognize no boundaries – personal or legal. They honor to "contracts" and they pursue their target for years. They interpret rejection as a sign of victim's continued interest and obsession with them. They are, therefore, impossible to get rid of. Many of them are narcissists and, thus, lack empathy, feel omnipotent and immune to consequences of their actions.
