Getting Life Balance ... At LastWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach
There’s a lot of talk these days about life balance. For many of us, life is out-of-balance – too much work, too little family, too much sitting, too little exercise; too much sugar, too little green vegetables; too much stress, too little relaxation.If you go to a “life balance coach,” you’ll probably be told to make a pie chart of your life, and to start removing things that are stressing you. It may be suggested you change your job or career, change your partner, get more day care for kids, hire a maid, get more exercise, eat more carbs, set priorities, rearrange your schedule, or move around other external things. These are important, but it’s treating symptom, not cause. There’s a better way to get life balance that lasts longer and has a deeper impact on your life. It requires that you make some internal changes. After all, you will never be able to remove every source of stress in your life, nor would you want to. Consider for instance that your husband is currently cause you stress. Maybe he’s just had a quadruple bypass or you’re worried he will. Maybe your wife has gotten a promotion and is very on edge lately and difficult to be with. There is stress in relationship, but is this a reason to throw your partner out, like “toleration”? A person is not a “toleration,” and your primary relationships are not “obstacles.” And if you need an extreme example of this faulty line of reasoning – consider how much stress that little ole newborn baby put into your life! But not only can we not get rid of all our stress, we wouldn’t want to. It is widely reported in psychological literature that every organism (including we humans) seeks what’s called “equilibrium.” Like Goldilocks and Three Bears, we don’t want too much, and we don’t want too little. We want it just right! Subjects who have spent hours in a sensory deprivation tank are miserable, just like adrenalin-junkie on corporate merry-go-round. The ideal is to have just right amount of stress, change and emotion in your life – not too much, not too little, and just right. And all time. Ha! What happens, then, to our “life balance”? We look inside, not outside. There is no way we are going to be able to control external things. Just when you settle down for a relaxing evening at home, neighbor’s fire alarm goes off, and fire engines start arriving. Who knew?
| | Dress to ImpressWritten by Marisa Pellegrino
Have you ever wondered why that girl from bar never called you back? The conversation came easy, drinks were flowing, you could feel chemistry, and you were dressed to kill?or were you?Your mother always told you that you only get one chance to make a first impression and first impressions can make or break you. Women look at every last detail, from your tasseled shoes to amount of goop you have in your hair. Be honest guys, women aren?t only ones who try on ten different outfits before deciding what to wear for a night out on town. And it is perfectly normal. But how do you know which outfit is right one to impress girl on your first date? Let me take you through it step by step. Clothes aren?t only thing a woman looks at when you?re dressing to impress; it?s whole package. Fortunately or not, outside is what she sees first. What you see is sometimes what you get. So what do you wear? Out with Old? Rule number one is: don?t under dress. Guys have a tendency to pull on a pair of pants and first shirt they find and head out door. You have to look put-together, like some sort of effort was made for her. So take those ratty, old tennis shoes and toss ?em! Take your t-shirts with big, loud prints and forget about them! And yes, women think carpenters are sexy but that doesn?t give you green light to wear your paint-stained jeans. The solution is simple. Ask a friend (male or female) over day of your big date. Not only will they help calm your nerves but they?ll also give you their honest opinion on your chosen outfit. Second, an iron can also be a man?s best friend. You?d be surprised what a little pressing can do to change your look. Finally, don?t rush! There?s nothing wrong with taking an extra half hour to prepare. If you take time to get ready, your date will take time to notice. ?in with New So while first rule might seem simple enough, some guys might take it too far, which brings us to rule number two: don?t overdress. We don?t expect you to know all latest fashion trends of day and we don?t expect you to follow them either. This second rule doesn?t only deal with being a label whore but also with men going overboard; that is to say those men don?t know when enough is enough. While some guys take a shirt, smell it and decide whether or not it is clean, others think their shirt has to say Hugo Boss, Armani, or Ralph Lauren to look good. So let?s make your sweater selection. Stay away from Grandma?s knitted birthday gift and nipple shirts. The former screams little kid while latter leaves nothing to imagination. The tight shirt may not be an option if you?re not comfortable enough with your body, but if you are physically fit, why not let woman imagine what?s under there to maintain an element of mystery. You can?t go wrong with a button shirt, leaving first couple of buttons at top undone. It?s casual, comfortable, and classic.
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