how to cope with severe stress.We are all different. We all have different levels of tolerance, different levels of ability, different abilities.
We all have different aspirations, different likes and different dislikes.
No one can legislate for us all en masse.
However,
What we all have in common at various points in our lives is stress.
Attendant to stress can come depression, tension, sleeplessness, lethargy, apathy, suicidal thinking, anger, despair, physical illness and death.
All these also have one thing in common, negative waves as oddball would say.
We will invariably all face one of these below between us at some point in our lives, unless we are in some cases extremely fortunate.
1. Bereavement 2. job redundancy 3. job change 4. new baby 5. overwork 6. money worries 7. personal arguments 8. physical injury 9. serious illness 10. lifestyle change 11. drugs drink addiction
Most of these constitute what most people would regard as genuine obstacles they have had to face or endure which are harder to cope with than you would like.
Why.
This might seem an odd question, but it is very pertinent. For me
why in every case above breaks down to
this is something I have never experienced before, coupled with high emotional involvement.
Many psychologists will be wringing their hands at my next statement, but I believe that just as we all have a God given talent, that we can ALL cope.
I am not religious, this is just way I feel.
We CAN all cope.
With something we have never experienced before, there is an innate set of worries.
a. will I be able to cope with this b. will I make a fool of myself c. how can I possibly do this on my own d. what is really happening here e. will I do this in right way f. I hope I dont make too much fuss g. will I survive this unscathed h. How will I ever get through this.
A step into unknown, never before experienced. With experience comes confidence you have done it before, and even if it was unsuccessful, you know how better to approach it this time, know what is coming, and to a small degree, know how to best deal with it.
Some things, like bereavement, are never going to be easy.
So what can we do to minimise impact of these new and frightening or slightly worrying or plain terrifying events.
We have to know we will eventually cope with anything.
We CAN all cope.
What do we need in our armoury to try to cope then.
1. Confidence 2. Knowledge 3. Back up 4. Friends 5. Self reliance 6. Determination 7. Know our own limitations 8. Be calm under pressure 9. Make logical reasoned decisions 10. Realise only we can do it
The prime, underlying thing you will most need will be most difficult to try to do, sleep.
To have any chance of coping well under undue stress, you have to have eight hours unbroken sleep. Period.
This is singularly hardest thing to do, to let go when you are under highest stress, but you must do to cope, preferably without sleeping pills.
To truly sleep under grim stress you have to be aware that there is only so much you can do in one day, and also some days you cannot alter or affect what is problem. Also some days you will get absolutely nowhere.
Identify your problem, or problems, as they have a habit of multiplying at bad times.
Break your problem down into smallest parts you can think of and make two lists.
One list shows what you can directly do something about now. The other shows things beyond your control, at least for now.
You can only deal with what is directly possible, so make an achievable schedule of what to do each day.
And do it.
Then sleep. You have done all you can that day, and you have a plan to work to, and you must not worry over things beyond your control. That is a hard one but very true, you probably worry most over what you can do least about.
Have a hot bath, and if not alcoholic a sherry or a port, then sleep solidly for eight hours.
If you cant do anything about something, dont, let it go.
Once you have your plan your armoury comes into play.
Confidence is built by truly knowing you are capable.
Knowledge of something new builds confidence, so read up on others experiences, and ask others who have been through this before.
Back up your own abilities with specialist advice where it involves specialist knowledge, preferably a few erudite opinions, not just one.
Friends, true friends will share load. So if you know now you are not worthy of friends, for example, if you lie a lot, stop lying. True friends come out of being a true friend and are worth gold at these times in support. So now is a good time to look at yourself and see if you cant be better to those around you, you never know when you might need their help.
Self reliance comes from knowing you have overcome things before, allied to knowing you have to do it again now. Never worry about looking stupid, or failing, or being out on a limb on your own or making an undue fuss. We have all been there, we can ALL get by.
Determination cannot be overstated, if you are truly determined anything is possible, but it is easier to be determined when you can actually see and visualise what you are up against. This is a voyage into somewhat unknown territory, but we are all capable of coping. It is often fear of failure that leads to failure, not lack of moral fibre or intelligence or resilience. Its What If It All Goes Pear Shaped that makes it into a pear. You must be single mindedly determined to succeed, which will waver at times, we all have some healthy self doubt, but overall we must be strong, and we ARE capable of it, ALL of us. You are only ever weak if you want people to feel sorry for you. We can all be strong, we can all survive intact.
