GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACHWritten by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACHLike late Rodney Dangerfield, you may sometimes find that you "don't get no respect." In Rodney's comedy routine, disrespect was amusing. But in real life it fills us with indignation. Our typical response is sarcasm or avoidance. Has such a reaction EVER made a difference in getting more respect from others? I doubt it. Today I'm going to show you a better way to deal with disrespectful people who irk you, frustrate you, and drain you of energy. HERE'S THE SECRET: When someone gets under your skin, do them a small favor or give them a small token gift. Here are some real-life examples: * A divorced man, whose ex-wife played power games by impeding his relationship with children, decided to try small favor route. One day when he picked up kids from her house he brought her a quart of gourmet-grade cherries. "I was at farmer's market and saw these cherries, which I recall were one of your favorite treats," he said casually. "I know market is far from your house, so I figured as long as I'm going to stop by here anyway, I would bring you a few." * An employee whose boss was hypercritical made a point of bringing her a copy of a magazine article on antiques, a subject that employee knew was boss's hobby. As employee walked by her desk he stopped briefly and gave her article. "I read this piece in Newsweek last night, and thought I'd bring it in just in case you hadn't seen it," he said nonchalantly. * A college student happened to be in vicinity of a classmate who had participated in spreading a rumor about her. The classmate had just exclaimed that her cell phone battery was dead. The student pulled her own phone from her pocket and offered, "Here. Go ahead and use mine." In all above examples, recipients of gift or favor reacted with a puzzled expression, but nevertheless accepted gesture. In two of situations recipients became more friendly later on. (Unfortunately, hypercritical boss did not, but that's a subject for another article.)
| | Our House Hunting Experiences in Andalucia Southern SpainWritten by Geoff Forster
Our House Hunting Experiences in Andalucia Southern SpainMontefrio, Granada Province We fell in love with a property in Montefrio Granada. We checked by phone if it was still for sale, flew out two days later only to find it had been sold six months earlier! The company was www.propertynetworkspain.com ... it is hard to find an excuse for their trying to mislead us into traveling halfway across europe for a house that had been sold six months previously, fortunately I had found www.parapandaproperties.com in same town who advised me that they thought property was no longer on market. The only thing saving Property Network Spain is that properties in Spain are often advertised by a number of different agents and there is a chance they did not know that this property in Montefrio had been sold for six months! They do have an office in this small town but it is possible that they were not aware ... The www.parapandaproperties.com agent Alan Russell said that they had a house Casa Pipi for sale in Montefrio and they sent me details. It looked wonderful, rustic beams, garden, pretty shuttered windows, wonderful views so we flew out. Alan kindly met us at Malaga airport (quite a trek from Montefrio ...full marks to this pleasant Scotsman) he drove us through increasingly barren yet beautiful Andalucian countryside. It was September '03 and there had been no rain since April ... We arrived nearly two hours later in Montefrio, a very beautiful town, with a castle on hill towering above white pueblo and a magnificent round church in town centre, which is one of most serene and atmospheric buildings I have had pleasure to stand in. After a tostada and coffee Alan drove us to our latest Andalucian dream house ... Casa Pipi. Which in reality was a ramshackle hovel, journey to house was a series of seriously steep switchback bends. If anyone had been coming in other direction reversing back would have been difficult for either party. We entered house, there was a pipe sticking out of floor, we were assured it was a temporary problem and that mains water pipe would be buried out of sight very soon! No problemo! There were two gypsy women Mother and daughter, attempting to do their washing in kitchen (the owners!). The machine was in middle of floor washing and clothes everywhere, this perhaps explained pipe sticking up by front door! We had requested to be allowed to stay in house for a few days to get a feel for place. We were to pay a small rent if we did not buy else stay was to be free. Despite numerous phone calls and assurances this had been agreed and sorted with owners presence of two gypsies and their washing told us we were not really expected. I was already getting shivers down my spine telling me to get out fast ... I've heard about houses giving off vibes I was feeling them for real and it wasn't pleasant ... but before I could run to front door we were taken to beautiful landscaped and fenced garden. The agent had been specifically asked if this area was fenced and suitable for three border collies! The neighbours wall was about to collapse into garden which was no more than an unfenced building site. The steps into outdoor building site space/garden were crumbling and very unsafe. Figs were dropping and rotting in huge piles all over so called patio, all I could hear was a previously very quiet inner voice shouting GET OUT OF HERE! There was a family listening to a stereo (full blast!) in street which was right outside pretty shuttered bedroom window. The chestnut beams on internet pictures were bent and cracked, I learnt what rustic meant from this house! The view was only good if you leaned out of one particular window. The area was impoverished and very untidy. Accessible by trained rally drivers only in 4x4 vehicles! We left, fast .. a angry looking four year old boy in a Barcelona football shirt gave me a drop dead look as we left, very disconcerting from such a small child, I hope we never meet again when he's older! We went back to Parapanda Properties shop, Alan found us an excellent apartment to stay in and drove us there with our bags. We did eventually find a dream property in Montefrio. After let down in (corra) gypsy area of town, We decided town wasn't for us and we decided to view some country properties. The first was down a track through local rubbish dump ( not a good start )and it got worse, track twisting up and down boulder strewn it was an amazing experience. The house was isolated and being worked on by a team of builders. The price had gone up considerably from that advertised in agents shop as renovations had started. I did like isolation but Jane wasn't having any of it. Looking back this was a wise decision! Next we were taken to another larger cortijo with a well fenced garden of about 2000sq meters, there was a fig tree, lots of unpruned olives and a water well. The house needed a new roof (not urgently) but a bathroom extension had not been built properly and was moving away from house. This needed demolishing and rebuilding. There were a few disconcerting cracks in walls but Paco (the builder) assured us these were 'no problemo' so we put down a 2% deposit before we left. The owner of cortijo was an elderly lady and her son Gregorio was selling it for her. The title deed (Yes there was one!!) also had about 60,000sqm of land on it but they only wanted to sell house and 2,000sqm in 'compound' as we called it, as barbed wire top fence had a Stalag 19 feel about it. So they we going to apply to town hall for a legal segregation. Our lawyer said 'no problemo', Paco said 'no problemo' Alan estate agent said 'no problemo' The Montefrio Ayuntamiento (Town Hall) Architect said 'mucho problemo' then 'no problemo' (we celebrated) .. then two days later 'mucho problemo' and after a roller coaster ride for over two months we pulled out after segregation was not granted. Our cheque for 2% was never cashed. estate agent being honest but a little naive about dealing with town hall architects and what is and isn't irrigated land. (a well does not an irrigation system maketh ... pipes and pumps are also needed!) He did drive us from Malaga airport to Montefrio and back! Quite a trek! He was also very pleasant to deal with via e-mail. On downside Casa Pipi did not live up to his description. Numerous phone calls had assured us we could stay there during our visit. The gypsy women and their washing told us this request had not been relayed to owners as we were told it had been. The segregation problem on cortijo was always 'no problemo' because it was irrigated land. It clearly wasn't irrigated. So we have mixed feelings about Montefrio and agents there. It is a long way from coast, it is very beautiful, but not a lot to do there ... 5/10? So .. back to searching internet ... dreams shattered, minus airfare, accommodation costs and living expenses for Montefrio trip.
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