Fuzzy Names, Sweet NamesWritten by Dawnell Harrison
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with passing generations. I also tend to think that names have improved immensely since first Elmas, Minervas, Bufords, and Alfreds graced baby’s room wearing appropriate nametags on their cribs.
A country of tradition, we still hold tightly to such commoners as Becky, Wendy, Mike and Bill. And being trendsetters of a diverse time, we also like originality. Girls are acquiring sophistication with names such as Breanna and Kyla while boys are being called Dusty and Cameron, cute yet charming. I do like these names. I even think that not-so-unique ones are fine. These names have humility and, most importantly, can be spoken without cringing, gagging, or regurgitating. When was last time you could actually say “Bunny” and control ruffling of your nose and higher level of intonation in your voice? (Not to mention avoiding picture of this girl nibbling on a very orange carrot.) I put her into a category I like to call ‘itty bitty Bunny and Kitty committee.’
A girl of this stature serves your ex-boyfriend mixed drinks at local dive bar and leaves tip on table because somebody accidentally left it there. She likes to think deeply when scuba diving and yells, “run to second base,” when a tight end gets football. This type always has straight, white teeth and never gets fired from her cocktail jobs. She’s such an asset. I have my doubts about advantages being endless though….I mean, how many lawyers, nurses, or even receptionists do you know named “Kitty?”
Three colors, six tenuous linksWritten by Holmes Charnley
It was Christmas Eve last year that car carrier, Tricolor, was issued with a wreck removal notice. Having been crashed into by a ship trying to overtake it, it has been lying there a wreck ever since. I know how it must have felt.
I was issued with a wreck removal notice on Christmas Eve also. I felt a wreck, that much is true. I’d been at that vodka night before, one that had made local papers because it was dangerously wrong, overly strong and should you have any in house, to take it straight back for a product recall scenario. Hmm …
So there’s me sorting out tree, with kids belting around house and this letter of eviction comes through door saying:
“I am sorry to have to inform you that landlord has decided to sell property in spring and therefore will not be renewing your tenancy at end of initial six-month period.”
The letter went on, apologetically as waves broke over my upturned bow… I never could wrap presents. That one about bow was tenuous, I’ll grant you. Still, let’s press on, eh?
A couple more ships ran into this car carrier before shipping lanes got message and gave it a wide berth, so to speak. The second of these ships being a tanker carrying kerosene, a substance only marginally less dangerous than that vodka I’d been at. This tanker got itself rather ignominiously stuck on top. The kids caught sweetheart in a similar position but there we are. It was Christmas. I’m sure they’ll have forgotten by now.