Funniest Pond StoriesWritten by Brett Fogle
Get ready for some gut-wrenching, laugh out loud hilarious pond stories from all over world... Funniest Pond Stories - Part 1, May 2004 (Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!) We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loud stories sent in by some of you. Here we're going to highlight some of funniest stories for you to read, and we'll post ALL of funniest pond stories sent in on website (link below). We had entries from all over place (Inluding one all way from THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest - I had a really hard time deciding on one 'funniest' story. So, I'm going to leave it up to you. That's right - I'm asking everyone of you to 'vote' on your favorite 'funniest pond story'. Then we'll release results in a week or so... But here's a brief rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies (?) all taking Nestea plunge right into water, a hungry KOI nibbling in dangerous territory, a missing flip flop, an electrifying experience for grandma, fun for whole family, fish frape, and flying fish to boot! There you have it, these are entries you will be voting on at end, so get ready for some very amusing pond stories! First, let's start with this very funny story about 'Smokey' - who apparently thinks he can walk on water. This was sent in by Mike Lachance from Maryland:
Funny Pond Story #1 "I wish I had a photo to share of this very true story but any ponder with cats has likely had same experience at some time or another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying second season of my first pond (I have now built four as I've moved around), one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural hunter in her prime, saw a mockingbird alight on a lilly pad to get a drink of water. Well, old "Smokester" slowly crept out from under some day lillies and made a spectacular jump with all four paws majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that intruding bird. It is not as though she had not already had a couple of encounters with water but that day feathered treat must have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and I were there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into pond. Of course, bird was out of way in plenty of time and I swear that that cat walked on her toes five feet it took her to get out of water! And of course, after removing herself from water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift each leg, shake off water and as much as say "I meant to do that, you know".
Smokey often spent time at pond later, using her tail to attract fish (she would put it in water and swish it around and fish would come up to explore it. She never did catch one). She also loved to sit at waterfall and enjoy water moving past her. So that is my funny pond story.
=== Funny Pond Story #2 "Dear all at McArthur,
My funniest pond story is about my late aunt, who introduced me to joy of backyard ponds. Donna had a large koi pond in her backyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attention to. As happens with most ponds, spring brought some uninvited guests...in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on pond, checking cantankerous pump and filter system, and using her net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in.
My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising work and offering her expert opinion on how to proceed. They were amazed at number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not too happy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at far side of pond that she wanted to get out...something was not quite right about way he was swimming, and she pointed him out to Grandma. "Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!" Grandma was a bit skeptical...frogs doing back stroke were a phenomenon that she was unfamiliar with. She advised that this misfit should be removed immediately. Don't want to give other little froggies strange ideas. Donna made several attempts at scooping miscreant up with her net, but he was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up your shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strange swimming technique became painfully obvious as soon as Donna reached his immediate vacinity....a faulty under water light had shorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn't need her electric rollers for a few days after that!"
Funny Pond Story #3 "Hello----My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this time he was 8 weeks old. My husband also bought two almost, semi-tame rabbits to help train puppy to track rabbits. At this time I only had one pond that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband put one of rabbits out to platy with puppy, rabbit was teasing puppy, running a little ways then jumping over his head, then rabbit decided he didn't want to play anymore so he started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into pond. We were thinking that Bear would go around pond to other side and continue chasing bunny, but Bear just dove right in, he was so little though that he had to be rescued from small backyard pond. My husband's only response was "he's going to be a good rabbit dog!" Well, thanks for listening to my story. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio
Funny Pond Story #4 "A story to share... Two years ago I started with crazy idea of building a small pond with koi fishes. After a lot of working I finally built it, and decorated it with all sort of plants. One day... mi female cat “Manchita” went to pond to examine this new construction. She went to border, jumped on a flat stone and starter to drink water. To her big surprise one of fishes , possibly thinking that white nose of my cat was food, jumped out of water, trying to eat it.. Can you imagine surprise of cat ? I believe that fish was also quite impressed with experience. My cat almost fell into pond , .. and from then on she never went around pond again. She used to watch pond from my dorm, located in second floor and just across pond. Unfortunately I did not take a picture of this “accident”. I am sending you a pictute of this first pond; in meantime I did build another, larger one. Unfortunately “Manchita” is not around any more, she passed away a few month ago, from old age.. This story happened in Valdivia, a city located in south of Chile. In this country winter is approaching, with lots of leaves falling from trees an plants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while..." Maria Fresard == Funny Pond Story #5 "I have two ponds. An upper and lower pond. The upper pond is fed by a waterfall with source being lower pond (driven by a pump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow of upper pond that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Last summer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream going dry near my home. I put them in lower pond. This spring I was sitting in my kitchen and could see something flopping on my water fall. The trout had migrated up overflow tube and were trying to swim further upstream via water falls. No so funny but does show strength of nature. Just a few weeks ago, Egrets found pond and fish.
Over-wintering pond fishWritten by Brett Fogle
The metabolism of koi and goldfish is controlled primarily by water temperature. As water cools, pond fish require less protein in their diet. When koi and goldfish are fed high-protein food in cool water, excess protein is excreted as ammonia from gills. The microscopic organisms that make up biological filter (and consume ammonia) also slow down in cooler water. Improper seasonal feeding can lead to a build-up of toxic ammonia, which stresses fish and reduces their winter survivability. When water temperature drops to approximately 65° F, start feeding with Spring & Autumn Pond Food. This type of fish food is better suited for dietary requirements of pond fish in cool water and won’t pollute water with excess ammonia. Some water gardeners continue to feed their fish until they no longer come to surface. I stop feeding my pond fish when water falls below 42° F. There is no need to worry about "frozen fish" if a section of pond is at least 18 inches deep. Pond fish will seek deepest part of pond and over-winter there until water warms in spring. If your pond is less than 18 inches deep, fish may freeze during a harsh winter. Check with your local pond supplier if you live in an area with harsh winters.