Free tips to improve self confidence

Written by Stephen Hill

Author Stephen Hill



Atrepparttar age of sixteen I was invited out forrepparttar 146797 evening on a Saturday night to celebrate a friend’s birthday. This for most people would be something to look forward to, for me it was something to dread. Socialising and ordering drinks for somebody who has a stutter is bad enough, but I regularly seemed to barerepparttar 146798 brunt ofrepparttar 146799 evening’s jokes about me height, weight and occasionally my bald patch. Even though my friend’s were not doing this to be cruel, I was very paranoid about myself at that age and this banter would hurt.

I had often been out for evenings where I drank alcohol, however up to this point had never been drunk. On this particular nightrepparttar 146800 drink flowed and before long I found myself a little worse for ware. The results of which would later change my life.

I found myself talking to lots of different people, some of which I did not know, even girls! My whole character and personality started to change, I was telling jokes and when someone made a comment about my weight for example, I laughed and even came back with a derogatory comment about him, joining inrepparttar 146801 banter and seemingly enjoying it.

My attitude changed, for example instead of thinking that a certain girl might not want me because of my weight, stutter or height, I thought to myself, she will want me, I’m a good person and could make her laugh. My whole outlook was far more positive and my confidence was buzzing. It was a superb and very enjoyable night.

The next morning I awoke not feelingrepparttar 146802 best with a bad hangover. One ofrepparttar 146803 highlights ofrepparttar 146804 previous night was that I had been given a phone number from one ofrepparttar 146805 girls I had met. I told her that I would phone her to arrange a date, however I was now sober, back to my normal self and no did not haverepparttar 146806 confidence to ring. This girl thinks I am fluent, how would she react if I stutter, I wondered.

I went to bed most disappointed with myself but started to analyserepparttar 146807 differences between when I had been drunk to when I was sober. The conclusion was obvious, when drunk I can talk, I don’t care about my weight, lack of height etc. When sober I have a lack of confidence and am paranoid about certain aspects about my person. I knew that I could not be drunk 24/7 and that what I needed to do was to become a harder person, less paranoid etc. I had to be mentally drunk all ofrepparttar 146808 time without being physically drunk. I knew this would be hard to achieve but inrepparttar 146809 future possibly when I was older would be a must.

This attitude is hard to achieve, however using some ofrepparttar 146810 following methods became a reality for me a number of years later.


Atrepparttar 146811 age of twenty-two I decided to as already stated deal with and try to overcome some ofrepparttar 146812 issues in my life. I started to read various books, like mind over matter and positive thinking type books.

In one such book it had a line which read:

“You need to start to like yourself”

I putrepparttar 146813 book down and starting to think and realised that I didn’t actually like myself. I hated being overweight, shorter than average, having a bald patch and especially having a speech impediment.

I carried on reading and it went on to say:

“There are various things about one’s self which even though we don’t like we are unable to change, therefore we have to accept them. Other aspects we can change therefore we have to work extremely hard with determination to eradicate them.

Once again I putrepparttar 146814 book down and thought about this. Firstly my height, am I ever going to grow any taller? The answer is no, there is nothing I can do to increase my height atrepparttar 146815 age of twenty-two therefore I have to accept it. From reading more ofrepparttar 146816 book later I realised that I was being over-sensitive about this and some of my other issues. There are a lot of people out there a lot worse off than I am. Does my current height hurt me in anyway or affect my life in any major negative way, againrepparttar 146817 answer is no.

Secondly,repparttar 146818 bald area on my head. As withrepparttar 146819 above hair is not going to start growing in that area of my scalp, I have hadrepparttar 146820 bald patch since birth and therefore have to acceptrepparttar 146821 fact and even try to like it.

Then there is my weight. This is something that I could change, therefore I have to work hard to loserepparttar 146822 weight. I have to accept certain sacrifices; such as to eat less fatty foods and be disciplined to reach my target weight, however long it might take.

Finally there is my speech impediment. I had had a stutter sincerepparttar 146823 age of four and for me this wasrepparttar 146824 most important of all of my issues. I was not sure if I would be able to achieve fluency, however in my mind believed I could. If I can talk when I am drunk I should be able to talk when I am fluent. I was not going to accept having a stutter forrepparttar 146825 rest of my life until I had worked hard to eradicate it. Work hard I did and eventually I overcome this major issue in my life.

The reasons for my low self esteem

Written by Stephen Hill

Author Stephen Hill

I have had many confidence issues in my life, all of which I have either dealt with or overcome. I have written about some of these issues below.

1. The Bald Patch

2. My height

3. My weight

4. The stutter

5. My lack of belief in myself

6. My career


Even though to some people it may seem trivial, I was born with a bald patchrepparttar size of a ten pence piece. As I went through childhood and especiallyrepparttar 146796 teenage years I became more and more self-conscious and paranoid about it.

It was especially noticeable when it rained or when I went swimming as my hair would become wet. People at school would ridicule me and I was forever trying to hide and coverrepparttar 146797 bald patch even though most people knew about it.

It hurt when people laughed at me and eventually I stopped going swimming altogether.


Out of all of my close male family and friends, I amrepparttar 146798 shortest at 5ft 4. This probably should not influence my confidence however with people continually looking down on me it did. I have been called many names,repparttar 146799 nicest being “Shorty”.

I was always jealous of other people taller than I was. I hoped that one day I might have a late spurt. This never came.

My height affected me with sport. I wanted to be a striker at football howeverrepparttar 146800 coaches only wanted people over 6ft tall. At snooker I am constantly have to userepparttar 146801 rest which makes it difficult to play up torepparttar 146802 best standard and at tennis I was constantly being lobbed. It also meant that I only felt comfortable dating women 5ft 3 and under which reducesrepparttar 146803 available market considerably.


During senior school I was very thin. This may have beenrepparttar 146804 result of my parents turning vegetarian when I was twelve. Atrepparttar 146805 time there were very few replacement foods and it seemed as though we went from having meat and two veg to just two veg.

As my parents cookedrepparttar 146806 food I had little option but to also turn vegetarian. After a few weeks I approached them and told them that I missed and wanted to eat meat. They were understanding to a degree and said:

“If you want it, you cook it”

At this age I could only really be bothered to cook properly a few days ofrepparttar 146807 week and that gradually became less and less.

People at school would call me names like skin and bone and my weight became another area of paranoia for me.


Atrepparttar 146808 age of four I developed a stutter. This became gradually worse as I became older even though my parents were told that I would grow out of it.

For what fluent people would class as simple tasks like reading from a book at school, answering questions, saying my name and address, ordering items atrepparttar 146809 bar or in a restaurant, and speaking onrepparttar 146810 telephone became a constant battle.

It was a very frustrating impediment, as I seemed to be able to talk quite fluently to people I knew well and whom I felt comfortable with, but at other times especially under any form of pressure could not say a word.

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