Neither couple I describe knows other couple, but their stories are strikingly similar.

Craig and Warren are both recently retired executives. Craig’s wife, Marcy, owns and operates a website design firm. Warren’s wife, Sharon, owns an exclusive gift shop. Both businesses are successful, and each woman finds business ownership personally satisfying and rewarding. Both women requested couples coaching for similar reasons. Their husbands were interfering in their businesses.

Craig and Marcy were newlyweds. It was a long distance romance, and they both were delighted when his retirement allowed them to be together. His unspoken plan was to help her with her business so that she could work less, and they could spend more time together. Her plan, also unspoken, was to continue to develop her business in order to sell it in a few years and fund her own retirement.

Craig enthusiastically earned his certification in web design. He found new information fun and refreshing after years of heavy corporate responsibility. Marcy was delighted that he was busy and happy, until he started to help her with her work. She found his suggestions insulting. It was her business, she was expert, and she supervised many designers and negotiated profitable contracts. Now he, a novice, was trying to tell her what to do!

Warren and Sharon did talk to each other about their plans and goals. Warren felt that his expertise could be put to good use in Sharon’s business. He convinced her, against her “better judgment,” that expanding business would create long term benefits for both of them. She decided to go along with his ideas.