I have to tell you that I went dead silent. My mental wheels were spinning. My eyes glazed over into what can best be described as a "thousand yard" stare.

Until that point in time I hadn't really considered what was my purpose for anything. I thought I knew "why" of what I was doing with my life. I was working to support my family. That's "why" I had a job. But there was always statement quietly running in back of my mind "...there had to be more to life than this."

Then it hit me. I was thinking and talking about DOing in my life and not BEing. You and I are called Human Beings, not Human Doings, and yet "do-ing-ness" was direction that I had learned to travel. From where did that come?

As I looked at my life I discovered that there were thought patterns that had been with me for as long as I can remember. They were so rooted in my mind that they all but transparent. And it was those patterns brought into realization through my words and outer activities that were in charge. No wonder I thought that "..there had to be more to life than this."

Let me tell you, right here and now, that I didn't come from a dysfunctional family. I wasn't born into poverty, nor with a "silver spoon". I wasn't abused as a child. My family loves me and it shows in a thousand ways. There was nothing "wrong" with me.

Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have learned when it comes to making most of yourself. If this is true for you, then how are you going to improve?

Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing you will not know where to make changes to how you talk to people. How can you change what needs to be improved if you do not see it yourself?

There is a very simple way to generate awareness of how you behave with other people. A way to develop perspective that is not clouded by your biased perceptions.

Three Steps to Powerful Perspective:

1 Be a neutral observer

Choose a recent conversation you had which did not go as well as you would have liked. Next, pretend for a moment that you are a neutral observer of conversation. In your imagination go back in time to that incident and see yourself talking to that other person. Picture surroundings, hear sounds and feel atmosphere of place.

Then run through entire conversation again, only this time imagine that you are neutral observer. See yourself and other person talking and listening to each other and notice dynamics of conversation. Pay special attention to non verbal reactions.