For Weight Loss It's Want Power You Need Not Will PowerWritten by Kathryn Martyn, M.NLP
The problem isn't that you don't have enough will power to achieve what you want. You have will power, but it's not will power you need, it's want power.
You have to first want
You must want to change your habits, want to lose some weight, want to give up your evening snacking before your will comes into play. Once you want a thing badly enough, you will do whatever it takes.
If you think you want something (to make a change in your eating habits perhaps), but then find it difficult to follow-through with your plans, most likely you simply want your current reality (your current habits and patterns) more than you want your goals (less weight, better health, etc.)
I can hear you all way over here, telling me I'm wrong: "No, that's not right! I want this more than anything, I just don't have any willpower!" Round and round you go, but truth is, you will get what you really want. Think back, has there ever been a time when you really wanted something? A certain piece of clothing, a certain house, car, job, spouse? Hum... Yes, we go after what we want, if we really want to acquire or achieve it we do. Nothings going to fall in your lap, you've got to go get what you want.
What's Going on?
Put another way, you may want to avoid pain (breaking old habits, avoiding some favorite foods, simply not overeating...) more than you want to gain pleasure (losing some weight, gaining new habits, eating favorite foods in moderation ...)
Since losing weight takes time, from weeks to months to years, it's easy to fall off path. It's always easier to get back into our old habits of eating, eating, and more eating. There's always more food. Unless you are too poor to purchase it, there's plenty food in America - in fact, too much food, and so it becomes even more necessary to keep longer-term goals in mind.
How do you keep longer-term goals in mind, when short-term food is staring you in face? What about all treats offered, what about commercials, billboards, signs everywhere that say EAT?
Wanting, in fact, is "W", first step in W.H.A.C.K approach. See it in free e-book, Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss.
Think back to when you last really wanted something. Wanted it more than anything, had to have it, would do just about anything to get it. To want is a mighty powerful motivator, but surprisingly we aren't all motivated by what we want. Some of us are motivated by avoiding what we don't want.
What is your Motivation Strategy?
Motivation comes in two (or more) flavors. You can be motivated towards something (what you'll gain) or you can be motivated away from something (what you'll lose). This desiring to avoid can be confusing. I'm saying you must want something, and you're thinking, but I don't want to be fat. I can't think about my future, only what I don't want. Here is what's going on:
How to Lose Weight During the Holidays Without Losing FriendsWritten by Joey Dweck & The Editors at Weight Loss Buddy Press
It happens at every party: You swear that you’ll stick to your diet and you’re really sticking to your guns, popping crunchy baby carrots into your mouth like chocolate bon bons while everyone else is loading up on nachos and guacamole dip. Then someone – your mother who has been slaving over hot stove all day, your Uncle Mike who has polished off three martinis, your best friend Mary who has been trying to lose 25 pounds for last 25 years – steps up to your plate and fills it with an extra-large helping of guilt. “Come on, live a little. Just eat one piece,” your sister says as she tries to stuff stuffing in your face. “It’s your favorite, and I made it just for you. I’ll be hurt if you don’t at least try it.” And before you know it, you’re having your and everyone else’s cake and eating it, too. Family and friends, people you expect to support you, are very ones who are most likely to sabotage your diet, either consciously or subconsciously, and that’s why you need a neutral buddy to get you through not every wedding, birthday, bar mitzvah and holiday party, experts say. “When we sit down at table, we’re all sort of comparing how we shape up with other people there,” says Henrietta Harrison, a psychotherapist and life coach in Westport, Conn. “We’re all looking around table to see who looks older than last year, who looks thinner, who looks heavier.” And when people indulge, adds Laura Cipullo, a registered dietitian and certified diabetes educator with offices in Manhattan, New Jersey and upstate New York, “typically they want others to be ‘bad’ with them and indulge, too.” But as Cipullo and Harrison point out, just because you are offered piece of homemade pumpkin pie doesn’t mean that you have to eat whole thing. But it does mean that you can understand why you are being asked to eat it and then enlist your family and friends to help everyone beat their bad eating habits. “It can be threatening to a partner when other loses weight because thinner person will become more attractive to other people,” Harrison says. “When you lose weight, particularly if you are a woman, your confidence increases and it’s empowering. This can upset balance of power because as she gets more assertive, she becomes confident enough to change jobs, run for PTA or even go back to work.” By making your family and friends your buddies, everybody wins weight-loss game, Harrison and Cipullo say. “The buddy system is a good idea,” Cipullo says, “because entire family can be on same page. If mom and dad are eating a certain way or one child is eating a certain way, whole family should be eating that way – healthy.” Outside buddies, who provide encouragement and help 24/7, also can be part of your weight-loss network. “I recommend having someone to talk to before, during and after you go to these events,” Harrison says. “Buddying up during holidays is crucial for people who are alone because you get companionship. You get someone on your team. WeightLossBuddy.com is one way to do this. It is ideal for a lot of people because it’s like one-stop shopping.” Once you have a buddy, you can work together to change menu for future parties. “Make holidays less about food,” Cipullo says. “Meet for appetizers and drinks, not for formal sit-down dinners. Go ice skating or go for coffee or go out to a restaurant and choose your own food. Go out and look at holiday lights. Go for a manicure or a pedicure with your friends so you can sit around and chat and catch up.” And if your willpower does buckle under mistletoe, remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be feast or famine. “When you learn to ride a bike, you sometimes fall off,” Harrison says. “And when you learn, you don’t learn to ride in a straight line; you weave back and forth and that’s how diets should be.”