For Speaking Ease, Forgive Your Younger SelfWritten by Melissa Lewis
I love Disney movie The Kid with Bruce Willis. In it he plays a stressed-out, high-power image consultant. He wears expensive suits, lives in a chic, elegantly furnished home and has all money he can spend. His biggest challenge comes when a young boy—-his younger self-—comes to stay with him. He doesn’t recognize himself at first, but then comes to see that he can heal himself by comforting boy he was and accepting man he is. (Don’t worry, there’s still a lot of other fun, surprising stuff that happens so I haven’t TOTALLY given plot away.)Often when I work with people who are anxious or uncomfortable with public speaking, they recount past experiences of perceived failure. They tell me their stories of screw-ups, stumbles and faults, all with a tone of humiliation and self-flagellation. They use critical, blaming language to describe themselves such as “I was so stupid”, “I was pathetic”, “I’ve never forgiven myself for that.” It’s bad enough to have had bad experience in first place, but we just make it worse when we spread pain out over a lifetime by reliving experience-—and punishing ourselves for it-—over and over and over again. Exercise (WARNING: The following exercise may seem corny, but try it anyway. Seriously.) Close your eyes (after reading this article, that is) and see yourself as you are today. Don’t analyze or judge who you are today, just see yourself. Relax. Try to let go of any thoughts or distractions. Now imagine a younger version of yourself approaching--the you who screwed up that presentation all those years ago. Perhaps it’s you who messed up your 5th grade book report, or you who sneezed all over your slides at your first sales
| | Are you really ready?Written by Jennifer Lester
How many times have you found yourself in a dead-end relationship? You know this is not right person for you. You feel trapped. You feel lonely even though you are not alone. These are things that can happen if we jump into relationships too soon. We settle. We settle for someone who we may be attracted to, but we don’t really have any future with. If you want to stop wasting your time in these types of relationships there are steps you can take.Before you take that leap into dating pool, make sure you are really ready. Make sure you are at ease with yourself. You can never truly love someone else if you do not completely love yourself first. Whether you have been through a bad break-up or have never really had a serious relationship, it is important that you take a personal inventory before you begin.
|
