Written by Dan Reinhold

Floorspace By Dan Reinhold

Odd how frighteningrepparttar unknown can be.

The other day, I encountered something so rare and unusual, it was like a dream.

The last unexplored and little understood frontier.


With two boys inrepparttar 118257 house, pandemonium isrepparttar 118258 norm. Both toys and clothing desertrepparttar 118259 confines of bureaus and shelves, instead preferring to claim their rightful place onrepparttar 118260 bedroom floor where they are much closer to hand.

The wide expanses upon which we walk provide a home to all that land upon it - wrappers, paper, books, blankets, hermit crabs...

Oh...that's another story.

The reassuring squishes, crunches and snaps bring comfort torepparttar 118261 young overseers, confident that somewhere below...the floor is there.

I entered this domain with an awe borne of my desensitisation to shock atrepparttar 118262 sight. Valiant and determined forays to tamerepparttar 118263 wilderness had always been undone by its rapid regrowth, rivaling any spreading menace known to man.

This day, my eye lit upon a sight so strange, so wondruous that I was transfixed by it. The legends were true,repparttar 118264 evidence revealed...Inrepparttar 118265 middle ofrepparttar 118266 room, was a flat,, shallow space foreign to its surroundings. It was like gazing uponrepparttar 118267 Holy Grail.

Spitting Feathers

Written by Chris P Bohn

It's 4.41 a.m. and I am listening torepparttar birds singing inrepparttar 118256 nearby park. Few people hearingrepparttar 118257 Dawn Chorus could guess at how highly organised and politically motivated birds have become overrepparttar 118258 past few years. . .

It all started with a campaign by owls to secure extended rights for night workers, including enhanced rates of pay, regular meal breaks and assurances that they would not be penalized for refusing to work overtime. Some employers tried to get owls in trouble in certain parts ofrepparttar 118259 country. They did this by contacting their local branches ofrepparttar 118260 Health and Safety Department and complaining aboutrepparttar 118261 owls' unsavoury habit of regurgitating their food where it could be likely to cause contamination. But after a long court battlerepparttar 118262 owls won on a technicality.

Union activity has become increasingly important for birds. A landmark ruling has seen a Bill of Rights for chickens and turkeys become law in England and Wales. This will ensure enforcement of

1) The right to be anaesthetised (or preferably deceased) when plucked and 2) The right to be cooked atrepparttar 118263 correct temperature as well asrepparttar 118264 more controversial 3) Right not to be covered in grease and sold in truckers' cafés.

Pigeons have been keen union activists for a long time. Six years ago they broke away fromrepparttar 118265 birds' Musicians Union claiming that other birds (and approximately 90% of humans) were discriminating against them. Things came to a head after a series of complaints about pigeons' monotonous calls (we are not allowed to refer to these calls as birdsong as this has been outlawed under an adaptation ofrepparttar 118266 human "Trades Descriptions Act"). Larks and warblers and others calling themselves "proper" songbirds managed to put together a large petition calling into question pigeons' status as musicians and insisting that their rights and privileges be renegotiated. The "proper" songbirds described pigeons' calls as "nothing more than cheap and repetitive sampling which contributes nothing torepparttar 118267 music industry . . ."

Seagulls are being seen in greater numbers these days in some of our more inland towns and cities. This is because, due torepparttar 118268 dramatic fall in fish stocks inrepparttar 118269 North Sea, many seagulls have been decommissioned. The gulls who have remained inrepparttar 118270 industry have found their activities severely curtailed. A major contributory factor torepparttar 118271 gulls' problems has been unfair competition from human fishing "trawlers" which are equipped to handle vast quantities of raw fish. A spokesman forrepparttar 118272 Seabird Federation said:

"We have passedrepparttar 118273 point of no return. Young birds have seenrepparttar 118274 problems their parents have had to face. They have decided not to go into fishing. It's very sad. They just spend all day walking round town centres eating out of discarded fish and chip wrappers. . ."

There is an organization in Britain calledrepparttar 118275 RSPB (Royal Society forrepparttar 118276 Protection of Birds) which isrepparttar 118277 political wing ofrepparttar 118278 NDBLA (National Dickie Bird Liberation Army). For a long time there has been controversy over whererepparttar 118279 money goes fromrepparttar 118280 RSPB. Many suspect that some of it has been funding terrorist operations by militant pigeons. Older readers may recallrepparttar 118281 start of a long-running pigeon sponsored campaign involving defecating on cars which had just been washed. Small garden bird splinter groups were later formed and these groups attacked domestic washing lines, causing havoc in inner city areas.

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