Fixing a Broken Partner-Picker

Written by Rinatta Paries

Do you have a broken partner-picker? Do you keep pickingrepparttar wrong partners thinking they arerepparttar 101905 right ones, only to realize you once again pickedrepparttar 101906 same kind of partner as inrepparttar 101907 past?

If so, your partner-picker can be fixed. It just needs a little work. The following exercise will help you fix your partner-picker.

1. Completerepparttar 101908 following sentence with a few words that readily come to mind:

All men or all women are __________________________________.

Did you immediately think of negative terms to define men or women? If so, are you sure all men or all women are as you described above? Do you personally know any who are not?

The first step to fixing a broken partner-picker is to realize all kinds of people exist out there inrepparttar 101909 big wide world of ours. Most singles with a broken partner-picker actually believerepparttar 101910 only kinds of people who are out there arerepparttar 101911 kinds they have been meeting. So a woman who keeps meeting unavailable men believes all men are unavailable. And a man who keeps meeting women who are after his money believes all women are gold diggers.

In a way this actually makes sense; we believerepparttar 101912 evidence in front of us. However, doesrepparttar 101913 woman who keeps meeting unavailable men keep meeting them because that ISrepparttar 101914 only kind of man out there, or because she BELIEVES that isrepparttar 101915 only kind of man out there? In my experience, you will attract all kinds of people, but only noticerepparttar 101916 kind you believe are out there.

To change this, get to know and build friendships with men and women who are not as you described above. Work on realizing there is great diversity in behaviors and attitudes among EACH sex.

2. Completerepparttar 101917 following sentence with a few words that readily come to mind:

All relationships are ______________________________________.

Did you immediately think of negative terms to define relationships? If so, is it true that all relationships are as you described? Do you personally know any that are not?

The second step in fixing a broken partner-picker is to realize that all kinds of relationships exist out there inrepparttar 101918 big wide world of ours. Most singles actually believerepparttar 101919 only kind of relationship possible isrepparttar 101920 kind they fear they will end up in. So singles envision a controlling, manipulative partner who asks them to compromise their very being. Or they envision an uncaring, cold partner who would rather be away from them doing something else. Or they envision some other relationship horror they would rather not live through.


Written by Rhoberta Shaler

I work an average of ten hours a day and It occurred to merepparttar other day that I am retired. Sounds paradoxical, however, it's true. My definition of retirement isrepparttar 101904 time in a person's life when she hasrepparttar 101905 opportunity to do exactly what she wants to do all day. So, I'm retired. Are you?

There is another thing I truly like about my definition: it changes my attitude towards my work. Knowing that I am consciously CHOOSING to do what I do makes allrepparttar 101906 difference.

Of course, each one of us at some level is choosing what we are doing every moment. It'srepparttar 101907 'consciously' part we may be missing. It's possible that we spend time complaining bitterly about our lives without ever actually admitting that we've created our perception of it and our reaction to it. Sure, difficulties arise and, with it, stress. What we do then is also a choice. There is just no escaping that 'choice' thing even though we have hundreds of well-rehearsed reasons and excuses to justify and maintain our discomfort.

Yesterday, I was coaching a young woman of forty who recently had her first child. She had returned to work after only nine weeks with her baby. Her husband works out of town all week and they live onrepparttar 101908 outskirts of a major city to make life more affordable. As we chatted, her tears flowed. Why? Because she is running as fast as she can, multi-tasking allrepparttar 101909 way, justifying every decision on behalf of finances. She is exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And, for five and half days a week, she is alone. She is definitely not retired by my definition. We spent our session reviewing her choices.

One ofrepparttar 101910 greatest travesties of our current culture is that we are constantly being bombarded with advertising and information to suggest we 'should' be able to do it all without pain, stress or loss IF we really had it all together. Unfortunately that often translates to if we cannot manage every aspect of our lives every minute of our lives without distress, we're simply not good enough. Have you ever felt that? The world works hard to keep us believing its true, but, it's not!

We have to take back our lives. Review our position. Reflect on our choices. Re-consider our values. Re-define success. Re-construct our plan. Re-design our use of time. As you read this, are you noticing that you are feeling something like disappointment, a sinking feeling, or a desire to cry? This will tell you right away that you need to step back and dorepparttar 101911 following:


Take a weekend just for yourself. Wear only comfortable clothes. Turn offrepparttar 101912 computer,repparttar 101913 phone,repparttar 101914 cell phone. Have a brand, new journal and pen ready. This is your time.

Spendrepparttar 101915 first twelve hours sleeping because most folks are chronically over-tired yet another symptom of our 'be-everything, do-everything, have-everything myth'. When you wake up, luxuriate inrepparttar 101916 knowledge that this time is just for you. Nowhere to go, no one to please, nothing that has to be done. When isrepparttar 101917 last time you could say that? Notice that, too.

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